


A Sip Sweeter

by BloodFrost



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, kylux - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren Fluff, Beginnings, Developing Relationship, Drinking to Cope, Drunken Confessions, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Ending, Funny, Gay Male Character, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Phasma Ships It, Protective Kylo Ren, Romantic Fluff, Senpai Notice Me, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-05-17 08:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14829131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodFrost/pseuds/BloodFrost
Summary: Ben Solo and Armitage Hux work together in an office firm, selling high end equipment to well paying customers. They’ve worked together for nearly a decade, yet don’t really know each other that well at all.One night, a trip with coworkers to the bar reveals some previously hidden details about Hux’s feelings for Ben ... and Ben isn’t quite sure how to react to them.





	1. Chapter 1

Ben was glad today, more than ever before, that he had childproof locks on his car doors.

He had bought this car from a lady with three kids, and at first he had thought the device a nuisance. After all, HE didn’t have kids, and what if he found himself needing to get into it out of the back seat, and climbing into the front wasn’t an option?

Well, tonight, he was thankful.

In his back seat, and attempting to pull the door open at steady intervals, was his co-worker, Armitage Hux.

Ben and Hux weren’t precisely what one would call friends, not by a long shot. They worked together in an office building downtown, as salesmen, pushing a wide variety of medical supplies to independent practitioners offices. Hux had been there longer than Ben, by about two years, but Ben had been the one to most recently receive a small promotion that both men (and several others) had been vying for.

He thought that maybe this caused Hux to have some acrimonious feelings towards him, but he wasn’t sure. Hux was so ... so _quiet_ all the time, so serious, that Ben didn’t really have a solid grasp on his personality. The only interesting thing about him, that Ben knew of, was that he was gay. During company picnics in the past, Hux almost always brought a guy with him. He wasn’t very physically demonstrative, other than hand-holding, but it was enough so that Ben had gotten the message. But about two years ago, Hux had shown up alone; and last year he hadn’t shown up at all, leaving Ben to deduce that maybe he had been single for some time.

Last night had been unexpected. To celebrate a huge sale to a new clinic, several of Ben’s coworkers had suggested that they go to Snoke’s, a popular local (dive) bar, for drinks. Although Ben didn’t drink, he agreed to go anyway, for some food and games. And Hux had gone, as well. 

Things started off relatively slowly, but as the evening went on, the crew became more and more rowdy. People were going toe to toe with each other for shots, and Hux, surprisingly, had beaten out all of his competitors. After almost 10 years of not seeing him drink anything stronger than tea around the office, seeing him chug beers and down shot after shot was staggering, to Ben.

Staggering to Hux, apparently, as well; when he went to stand up from the bar stool, he almost pitched forward into the arms of this girl from accounting. Ben, being one of the few sober ones, decided it was probably his responsibility to drive Hux home. After talking to the bartender and ensuring that Hux’s car wouldn’t be towed if they left it overnight, the two set off for Ben’s car, and now they were driving down the dark roads.

“Hey, so, the address on your license is RIGHT, yes?”

“Left, left, left right left, left, left,” Hux chanted from the backseat, giggling wildly. Ben just sighed and hoped that it was. He had his GPS on, having programmed Hux’s (hopefully correct) address into it. He was surprised; Hux lived quite a bit further out than Ben had thought. The voice emanating from the car cheerfully informed him that they would reach their destination in “1 hour 2 minutes”.

“You owe me for gas in the morning, by the way,” he said over his shoulder. “And you better not puke on my seats, or I’ll kill you.”

“Yes, Sir,” Hux replied, miming him a salute. The GPS told Ben a turn was coming up, and Hux started to laugh. “That voice! Is that the voice of what angels sound like?”

Ben smiled a little at that. “I don’t think so, man. Too creepy for me.”

“You know what? They should use YOUR voice, Ben Solo. I’d listen to YOUR voice alllll day.”

Ben blushed a little. “Er, thanks?”

“Climb over the seat and thank me properly, Ben Solo.”

“Oh, God ...”, Ben muttered, shaking his head. As a drunk, Hux was being awfully flirtatious with him tonight. He knew that the man didn’t really have control of himself, but still. It made Ben just a tad uncomfortable.

Thankfully, though, Hux didn’t go further into his proposition. He groaned, and was suddenly frantically pushing at the window button, which Ben had also locked. 

“Sick,” he muttered, his head in his hands. “Going to be sick.”

Ben calmly pulled over to the shoulder of the road, then parked the car, before going around and opening the back door. He held Hux upright, aiming his head towards some small bushes as he heaved into the cold air.

It was a while before he was finished, and then Ben had to help him back into the car, where he curled up on the seat. 

He thought that after that, Hux would fall asleep. But no, he was still talking.

“Did you ever see the movie Labyrinth? With that ... that guy? And that girl?”

“You mean David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly? Yes. Everyone has.”

“How come she couldn’t stay with him? Why’d she have to go back home? He wanted her to STAY.”

“I dunno, Hux. She was pretty young, and she had a whole life somewhere else. You can’t just stay because someone wants you to stay.”

Hux suddenly sat up straight, and Ben, startled, glanced in the rear view mirror. Hux ... was he _crying_?

“She could have stayed,” he insisted stubbornly. “He NEEDED her. He was so lonely, he NEEDED her!”; and then he burst into loud sobs, confirming Ben’s theory.

Ben fumbled around in his dash until his fingers landed on some leftover fast-food napkins. He handed a bunch back to Hux.

“It’s okay, man. Really. Maybe, uh, maybe in the sequel she comes back and stays with him.”

Hux looked up hopefully, blowing his nose. “Sequel? But there’s no sequel.”

The GPS voiced to Ben that their destination was a large white apartment building on their right. Ben found a spot and pulled over, unbuckling his seatbelt. 

“There’s always a part two, to everything. Now come on, let’s get you inside.”

He put Hux’s arm around his shoulder, and began stumbling with him towards the building. Once inside, he asked Hux where his apartment was.

“Thanks, Ben,” he slurred, sounding even more tired than before. He fumbled around in his pocket and dug out a ring of keys. “It’s somewhere here I think ...”

Ben took the keys from him and found one with a number on it. He groaned; apparently they were on the wrong floor. He began helping Hux towards the elevators, and then had to laugh: Out Of Order. Of course.

Going up the stairwell was an adventure in and of itself. Hux lived on the fourth floor, and they had to take the the stairs achingly slow.

“You’re strong,” Hux observes as they hit the second landing. “You work out?”

Ben nodded. “Every day.”

“I can tell. Your arms are like steel. Superman. Has anyone ever told you that you’re really cute?”

Ben rolled his eyes and smiled. “Nope. Never heard that one. Now I know you really ARE drunk.”

“No, nooooo. Always thought you were cute. Even not even drunk. Cute.”

They had reached Hux’s door, and Kylo put the key in the lock, opening it. He looked around until he found a light switch, then turned it on.

“Where’s your bedroom?”

Hux pointed to a small, blue-carpeted hallway.

A woman walked out of a room at the end of the hall. She was tall and blonde, with a fairly athletic build to her. She jumped a little, seeing Ben. Ben blushed; she wasn’t wearing much of anything.

“Um, hi, my name is Ben Solo. I’m a friend of Hux’s. He got really shitfaced so I brought him home. Are you his ... sister?”

The girl shook her head. “No, I’m his roommate. I’m Phasma.”

She walked to a door that must have been Hux’s, and pushed it open, flipping on the lights. 

“Thanks for bringing him; he stopped answering my texts like 2 hours ago, I was starting to get worried.”

Ben began dragging Hux through the door, and bringing him towards the bed. “It’s no problem. Does this happen a lot?”

Phasma was turning down the blankets, so that Ben could lay him down. At the same time, she grabbed a black robe of Hux’s off of achair, covering herself. “Not until recently,” she answered in a low voice, as Hux was hoisted onto the bed. He, um, well I’ll tell you in the living room.”

Hux opened his eyes and looked at the both of them. “Phasmaaaaa! How did you get here?”

Phasma smiled and pulled off Hux’s shoes, before pulling the blankets over him. 

“You go to sleep now, okay? I’ll see you in the morning.”

“‘Kay. Loves you.”

“Love you too.”

“Tell Ben I love him too, okay? He’s really ...”; and then he finally fell asleep, mid-sentence.

Ben and Phasma tiptoed out of his room, and went into the kitchen. Phasma had offered to make him some coffee, and Ben accepted, thinking he’d probably need a little boost so that he wouldn’t fall asleep during the long drive home.

“You said your name is Ben, right?”

Ben nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

“Not to like, weird you out or anything, but, I’m pretty sure Hux has a crush on you.”

Bens eyes widened in amazement. “Really? I mean he was saying some stuff earlier, but I just thought it was the liquor talking.”

Phasma shook her head, bringing over a steaming cup of coffee to him. Ben had to silently laugh at it; it was a huge rainbow-colored mug, with a big, glittery H in the middle. “Nope. You both work together, right?”

“Yeah we do.”

“Well, he brings you up, a lot. I mean like, a LOT. Wait ... you knew he was gay, right?”

Ben nodded. “Yeah I knew. And if I didn’t before ...”; he held up the mug in his hand, grinning, “I’d sure know NOW.”

They both laughed at that. And then Phasma said, timidly,

“If you don’t mind my asking, um ...”

“No it’s cool. Uh, to be honest, I’ve never really identified as anything before. But I think I’m open to anything at all, you know?”

Phasma nodded. “I’m like that, myself.”

Ben smiled. Phasma offered him some food, saying that they had an entire leftover pizza in the fridge. Again, Ben accepted. As she heated him up some slices in the microwave, he said,

“So you said that this drinking thing was kinda recent?”

The microwave dinged; she brought the plate to him.

“Yeah. His, um, his mother died last month. But like, right before that, like a week before, the guy he was seeing broke it off with him. I think it kinda messed him up, you know? He was never that big of a drinker before.”

“Really? Oh my God, I had no idea. He’s like, so quiet and serious around the office ... I was shocked he agreed to go out with us at all!”

Phasma nodded. “I know. He texted me and I was really surprised. He usually just drinks here, in his room.”

“That’s not really healthy,” Ben muttered, taking another bite of pizza. “Sounds like be needs to get out more, do stuff that’s not sitting in bars.”

“Agreed. It’s just ... I don’t know. I wish he’d find someone. He’s one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met, and I wish he could finally meet a guy who’ll treat him right, and wont be a total dick like the others have.”

Ben nodded thoughtfully. “Well I’d say he’s lucky, to have someone like YOU who cares so much about him.”

“Well, he always said that if I had a penis, he’d marry me tomorrow,” she said, and both of them cracked up.

. . .

Ben woke up just a little after noon, yawning and stretching in his bed. He was glad it was Saturday; after last night, he needed a little extra rest.

He wandered aimlessly around his place for a while, feeling strangely melancholy. After about an hour had passed he decided to get dressed and take a ride downtown.

He was relieved when he drove past the bar and saw that Hux’s car was gone; apparently he had sobered up enough to pick it up. 

Ben eventually pulled into the parking lot of the gym, parking in his usual spot. Working out was something that calmed him, centered his feelings whenever they were out of sync. With the exception of a week that he had had the stomach flu, a day hadn’t gone by in the past two years without Ben making at least one trip to this place, of steel and sweat.

He sat staring through the huge windhw, at all the people climbing the stairs, lifting weights, riding bikes. He was watching but he wasn’t really seeing. Instead, he was thinking.

About ... Hux.

About everything that Phasma had told him. About what Hux, himself, had let slip in his intoxication.

Hux didn’t know it (actually, nobody did), but Ben had suffered a loss himself, just last year: his father had died. Ben and his father had never really gotten along with each other; two headstrong, stubborn personalities rarely do. Han Solo had been an alcoholic, and had floated in and out of Ben’s life, his entire life.

Last year, the two began speaking again, after a long spell of silence. Forming a tentative bond. Making amends. Han had put himself in AA, and was making tremendous progress, which Ben was very proud of. Finally, he was getting the dad that he had wanted all his life.

And then one day, the two had had a fight. Something simple, something about the way Ben felt that Han had treated his wife and Ben’s mother, Leia, to whom Ben was extremely close. After much shouting and arguing, Ben stormed out, and didn’t come back.

Han had send him numerous texts, and tried to call, only to be ignored by Ben. And then tragedy struck: Han, having started drinking again, decided to go for a ride while completely wasted. They found his car flipped over in a ditch, and his body just a little away from it, having been thrown out the window. He didn’t make it.

Ben lived with guilt, for the longest time. He knew he wasn’t responsible for Han’s choices; but he couldn’t help but think that if he had answered even one text, or picked up a call, his father might still be alive. He knew it wasn’t true, but Ben felt rather like he had killed Han.

Han was the reason Ben never drank, and he was also the reason that his son was so reluctant, to form relationships with other people.

It sounded like Hux might be the same way; closing himself off, locking up the things that bothered him deep inside, where they couldn’t hurt him.

Without much thought, Ben reversed out of his spot, and hit the road. The route from last night was still in the GPS, and he brought it back to, humming a little to himself as the voice began giving him directions.

. . .

“Ben?”, Hux asked in disbelief. “What the hell? What are you doing here?”

Hux has answered the door in pajamas and a robe, although it was only about 4 in the afternoon. The dim lighting in the room behind him, and the way he was squinting against the lights of the hallway, made Ben think that he still had a hangover.

“Hey. So um, I know I should have called first, but uh, I just wanted to check up on you.”

Hux blinked, and then he stepped aside, letting Ben in. He sat down on the couch with a slight groan, and Ben followed him.

“This is ... nice, of you. I’m a little creeped out that you remembered where I live, but then again ...”

“I didn’t remember, the GPS did.”

“Ah. Well, a big hoorah for technology I guess. You want a drink or something?”

“Yeah. You stay there; I’ll get it. I know where the kitchen is.”

When he came back in with a soda, Hux asked, “Exactly how much time did you spend here, anyway?”

“About an hour. I was talking for a while with your roommate. I liked her. That girl is really pretty. She could be a model.”

Hux chuckled and nodded. “I’ll be sure to tell her that. Or ... like, do you like her, in another way? Because I could try and wingman for you; she’s single. I do owe you one, after last night.”

Ben shook his head. “That’s okay.”

He looked around. There was a bookcase by the far wall, only instead of books, the shelves were filled with Lego model sets. Ben got up to look at them closer; he had been so tired last night, he hadn’t even noticed them.

“Did you do these?”, he asked. Hux got up and joined him. “Yeah. All but that one,” he said, pointing at a round space ship. “I’ve never been that big of a Star Wars fan, but Phasma is.”

“I know what you mean. The new trilogy is terrible. Somebody needs to have an intervention with Disney.”

“Agreed. Thanks for not laughing, by the way.”

“Why would I laugh?”

“Because I know how stupid it looks, a 34 year old man still playing with toys.”

Ben laughed. “Well, if you’re stupid, so am I. You should see my room at home; it’s covered in action figures and collectibles. Nothing like this, though. I don’t have the patience for this kind of thing.”

Hux nodded, and the two sat back down. There was a quiet between them that could have been awkward, but wasn’t. Ben knew what he wanted to say, but wasn’t sure how to bring it out. He gathered his courage and said, casually,

“So, after work on Monday...”

“If you’re going to ask me to join you guys at the bar again, no, thanks,” Hux interrupted, holding his head. 

“I wasn’t. I, um, was thinking of going to see that new movie. Can’t think of the name but it’s the one with the guy who gets turned into a robot assassin?”

“I know which one you mean.”

“Yeah. Well, I was going to go do that. After that, I thought maybe I’d go to that new place that just opened like two weeks ago, the seafood place? I heard they have great soft-shelled crab, and that’s my favorite food in the world.”

Here he paused, looking up at Hux cautiously.

“If ... if you aren’t doing anything, I would like you to go with me.”

“ .... really?”

“Really. But just me, and you, not anyone else from work.”

Hux was silent for so long that Ben started to think that maybe Hux didn’t fully understand what he was asking.

“I don’t know if you remember this, but remember last night when I told you that I didn’t like holding doors open for other people unless I was dating them?”

Hux smiled. “Surprising, but yes, I actually DO remember that.”

“Okay. Well, um, if you came with me, I’d hold the door for you.”

It finally clicked in Hux’s head, that Ben was actually asking him out. A huge smile crept over his face, one that he desperately tried (and failed) to pull back

“I like soft shell crab, too,” he said, softly. “Okay. I’d like to go. What time?”

“Is 5:30 okay? I know the movie is 2 hours and some minutes, so by the time it get out it’ll be a good time for food.”

“That’s perfect.”

Ben stood up, and Hux stood with him. “So, okay, then I guess I’ll be going?”

He turned to leave, but Hux put his hand on his arm, stopping him.

“Wait. Um, if you don’t have anything else to do ... you could stay here awhile. I could order pizza, we could watch a movie?”

“Really?”

Hux nodded. “Yeah. Kinda like ... like a pre-date, I guess. Or it could just be two dudes hanging out, watching chick flicks.”

Ben sat back down with a smile. “Chick flicks?”

Hux picked up a remote and began scrolling through titles on Netflix.

“Yes. I don’t know why, but I can’t get Labyrinth out of my head.”

“Part one or two?”, Ben asked him, joking, not thinking that Hux would remember what —

“Part one. Part two can come later because ... because there’s always a part two, to everything?”

Ben nodded. “Yes. Always.”

So the two settled back to watch the movie together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... because there’s always a Part Two, to everything.

Hux sat quietly in the passenger seat of the car, looking out the window and breathing in the delicious, subtle scent of the cologne of the person next to him. They were on their way to dinner, and not a moment too soon; the loud rumbling of the driver’s stomach could be heard even over the radio. Hux turned his head and gazed at the person, taking in the pretty eyes, the dark hair, the —

As if reading his mind, the driver glanced at him, and gave Hux the little lopsided smirk that always made his heart race.

“Pretty soon I’m going to start charging you a looking fee, Red.”

Hux blushed and quickly trained his gaze back out the window. “The economy is in a shitty state,” he answered teasingly. “It used to be that looking was FREE, just like air was free.”

“Air IS still free.”

“No it’s not. It costs a dollar to put air into your tires, and really, have you ever bought a big-ass bag of chips? Because half of that bag is AIR.”

Both of them laughed at that.

Hux had been going on outings similar to this one with the man next to him, Ben Solo, for quite some time, now. Hux THOUGHT they were doing good, but there were a few little things that bothered him.

Back in the beginning, pretty much after their first date, Ben had sat Hux down and had a long talk with him, about how he had never dated a man before, and how he hoped Hux wouldn’t mind if they “took things slow” while Ben “found his balance” in the relationship. 

Which Hux hadn’t minded; and he appreciated the way Ben was so open and honest with him, and how easy it was to talk to him.

But Ben had been correct, in that SLOW was indeed how they were taking it. They had been seeing each other for almost 3 months, but Ben still seemed quite uncomfortable with anything stronger than a hug, or a very brief cheek-kiss. They had yet to share a kiss on the lips ... and of course, they were nowhere near within sight of sex — which was a bit difficult for Hux. He had gone with Ben to the gym a few times (he liked to run on the treadmill while Ben liked the weight room), and looking at the man’s shining, shirtless body after a workout was almost too much to handle.

Still, despite the awkward weirdness of the situation, Hux found himself _happy_ , for once. Ben was really rather sweet, and being with him made Hux feel young. For example, on one of their dates, Ben had invited him over for a surprise: he had purchased Hux a very large LEGO model set, one that Hux had been talking about getting for weeks. The two spent the evening putting it together, mixed with ordering Mexican takeout and watching old movies.

At work, they acted pretty much the way they always had around each other ... except now they ate lunch together every day, and Hux, well, he was much more vocal, even smiling, as opposed to his former stoic, quiet self. People noticed the change in him, but only a few were able to put two and two together in regards to his and Ben’s relationship.

Hux’s roommate and best friend, Phasma, was delighted that the two of them were seeing each other. She had met Ben the night he had driven a drunken Hux home, and the impression he made on her was a good one. Still, she had been leery at first; she had liked MANY of the guys Hux had brought home over the past few years, only to be disappointed in the end. The problem was always that Hux put all of himself into every romantic relationship he had, and would be willing to do anything to ensure that the person didn’t leave. And unfortunately there were guys who would take advantage of that, and of Hux’s sweet vulnerabilities, taking everything out of Hux until they decided they didn’t want anymore, and left.

But Ben was different; Phasma could tell that almost right away. He had a strong charismatic quality to him, and he seemed like a genuinely nice person. One time, after hearing that Phasma had a birthday coming up, he asked Hux about the kind of things she liked to do. Hux told Ben about how she had always wanted to go see the play Wicked, but never got around to buying tickets. 

Two days later Hux walked into their apartment with three front-row tickets to a production of Wicked at a theater in a neighboring city; apparently Ben was friends with the son of the owner of the theater. The three of them went and had an amazing time, after which Phasma nearly broke the boys’ ribs with her enthusiastic hugging.

All of that, plus the talk Ben had had with him, but Hux still wasn’t positive ...

“So, are we ... are we actually _dating_?”, Hux ventured, as Ben made a left hand turn at the light. “Are we together? I’m only asking because I’m honestly not sure, and ...”

“Do you mean, dating, as in, we’re ONLY dating each other?”, Ben asked, a very small smile on his face. “Because if that’s what you’re asking, well, I’M not seeing anybody else.”

Hux smiled as well, and he reached over and took Ben’s hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “I’m not either.”

They were quiet for a while, their thoughts accompanied by the soft music on the radio, before Ben cleared his throat and said, “Hux?”

“Yeah?”

“This weekend, I’m helping my mother move. The house is too big for just her, and expensive, so I found her an apartment in a senior community. I think she’ll like that; I feel like being around other people will be good for her.”

Hux nodded. “That IS a good idea. And probably a lot less expensive than a house.”

Ben nodded. “It will be. The money from the sale should keep her going for a long time, all things considered. But anyway, I figure it’ll take a few days to pack up and move her stuff. Her new place is already furnished, so mostly it’s just little things, and clothes and things like that. I, uh, I know moving is a pain in the ass, but I was wondering, um, if —“

“I’d love to come and help,” Hux said, smiling widely. “I finally get to meet your mom! Wait — does she ...”

“She knows I’m dating a man. I’ve told her about you. She’s cool with it; in fact she keeps asking when she gets to meet you.”

Hux’s mind went into a quiet tailspin; out of all the boyfriends he had had in the past, not a single one had ever asked him to meet their parents. This felt significant, and slightly overwhelming. To keep a cool head and distract his nerves, he asked,

“So, wait; your mother owns her house?”

“Yes.”

“And she’s selling it, to live in an apartment?”

They were at the restaurant now, and Ben looked around for a parking spot. Seeing a good one, he eased over, backing into it carefully.

“Yep.”

“That’s — I’m not trying to be nosy or anything, but, well, if your mom owns it, wouldn’t YOU maybe want it, someday? You grew up there, right? And I’m sure that if you kept the bills moderate you could afford it there, yourself. So —“

Ben put the car in park and turned to Hux with a sigh. “I get what you’re asking, but no. Too many painful memories in that place. Better to just let that past die, and focus on the future.”

They got out of the car and began heading into the restaurant. After a few quiet moments, Hux said,

“Just so you know, anytime I’m asking you something you don’t want to answer, you can tell me so. Sometimes, I’m not the best at reading people.”

Ben reached over and patted his shoulder. “I’ll tell you all about that house someday, Hux, I promise. But for now, come on: I’m about to blow my diet and order the most fatty food in this bitch.”

Hux burst out laughing at that, shaking his head. “That’s a lie. Ever since we started going out, we’ve eaten nothing but junk food, or take out, or restaurant food. Since when were you on a diet?”

“Ok NOW you’re asking me questions I don’t want to answer,” Ben said, teasing him as they walked through the doors.

-.-.-

“Mom, this is Armitage Hux, the one I was telling you about. Hux, this is my mom, Leia Organa.”

Hux shook her hand gently. He was in a bit of disbelief; Ben had told her that his mother was in her late 60’s, but it didn’t seem like it at all. She was incredibly beautiful for a woman of her age, and she had a way of moving that suggested much younger years.

Hux had spent all morning agonizing over what to wear. He wanted to look put together, but not TOO fancy or anything, as they would be spending a good deal of time packing and hauling boxes. But still. Pants were simple enough, but what about shirts? Long sleeve, short sleeve? T-shirt, flannel, pullover, sweater, plaid?

“Just wear your green zip-up hoodie,” Phasma had told him, as she got ready to leave for work. “It matches your eyes.”

“My eyes aren’t green! They’re blue!”

Phasma popped out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand. “They are not.”

Hux walked up to her and looked her in the eye. “Are too!”

Phasma peered closely, and then she chuckled, going back to brush her teeth. “A+ to me for being observant, right? Okay then, wear your blue polo shirt. THAT’LL bring out your eyes, plus it’s not too hoity-toity, but not like, T-shirt casual either.”

So Hux had done just that, by which time Ben had arrived to drive them over to the house.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

Another discovery; Ben’s mother was very clearly a woman who spoke her mind, and let you know exactly what she was thinking.

“Hi, honey. Don’t call me ma’am, that makes me feel like an old lady. You can call me Leia. So you’re the one Benny’s been gushing about?”

“Mom!”, Ben exclaimed, red-faced. “I never gushed!”

“Bullshit,” Leia contradicted, laughing. “You’ve been blowing my phone up talking about this boy. In your 30’s but carrying on like a teenager. But I can see why; that red hair, those eyes, you’re a cutie, Hux! And you smell so good!” 

Here she paused, cocking her thumb back at her son. “Whenever this one comes to see me, it’s always after the gym, and he’s sweaty as stinky to beat hell.”

“Mom!”

Hux burst out laughing. Leia had an openness, a calmness to her that put him immediately at ease, and all of his initial nerves at meeting her died away. 

He looked around; the floor was covered in old boxes, each in some stage of being filled. While he looked, Leia said,

“I appreciate you coming over here, Hux. Ben told me that you’re organized and I need that; he’s just been throwing things in boxes.”

Hux took off his jacket and laid it over the back of a chair, as Ben had done. 

“What you do is, you get a notecard and write down each thing going into a box. Then you tape the notecard to the outside of the box, so that you know what’s in it before you open.”

Leia smiled. “That’s brilliant. Er, not to distract, but this whole time I’ve been trying to place your accent. It’s adorable.”

Hux blushed. “Thank you. My mom was from London, my dad from Belfast, Ireland. I was born here in the states but their accents never went away, so I guess I inherited a mix of both of theirs.”

“Well I love it. Don’t ever lose it. Ben is a sucker for accents, you know. When he was a teenager he dated this tiny girl with a great British —“

“Come on, Mom; Hux doesn’t want to hear about my old love life.” He put his arms around Hux and kissed his cheek, much to the redhead’s delight. “Hux is my love life, now.”

Leia all but melted with glee, seeing her son (who had been worryingly single and lonely these past few years) being happy and affectionate with someone. Leia had been skeptical at first; Ben had never brought home a boy before, or even really shown the slightest interest in one. But clearly, whatever they had going on was working out for them.

“Okay, kid, I get it. But enough of this happy nonsense; I’m going to go get some note cards, then we can get started.”

-.-.-

The day passed quickly and pleasantly for the trio. Leia entertained Hux (and slightly embarrassed her son) by telling him countless stories of Ben as a child. Hux couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so much; his face actually hurt, from smiling.

Hux really was beautifully detailed, in his packing prowess. He was able to get the most into his boxes, arranging everything neatly, and the perfectly even distribution of items made his boxes easier to lift. When a box was finished, either Hux or Ben would carry it to what Leia referred to as the “loading dock”, or the now-empty dining room floor, with the door that led directly to the driveway. 

The local thrift store, the owner of which a woman that Leia was friends with, had had someone come and take all the furniture she was donating away in a truck, to prevent Leia from having to haul it down herself. She also loaned Leia, free of charge, a small truck in which to transport her own stuff across town to her new place. It sat out in Leia’s driveway now, waiting to be loaded sometime tomorrow. 

Around mid-afternoon Leia went into her bedroom, to take her daily medications. She asked if they would be okay if she took a little nap, explaining that one of the pills made her tired (she still had her bed). They said they would, and wished her a good sleep.

When the door closed behind her, Ben pulled out his phone and played some music for them to listen to as they talked and packed.

“I can’t believe you’re still here,” Ben said as he scribbled some items down on a notecard. “I thought you’d have bailed on this by now.”

Hux grinned and shook his head. He was in the middle of rolling up some glassware with old newspapers. 

“Are you kidding? This is fun! Your mom is so ... I don’t know what the word is, but she makes me feel really comfortable.”

“Good. She likes you, you know. I can tell. When she doesn’t like someone she’s really quiet with them.”

“Maybe she’s just being nice because we’re dating?”

Ben shook his head. “That’s not it. She HATED the last person I brought to meet her, and she didn’t try to hide it, either. She has strong intuitions about people. Turns out her attitude was justified, too: the girl ended up cheating on me.”

“Well, **I** might end up cheating on you, with your mom. She’s really pretty, AND she has the kickass personality to boot.”

Ben laughed. He carefully sealed his box with tape, then fixed the notecard to one of the flaps. “Well, I can’t argue with that, I guess. But it works out; I could use a new daddy.”

Hux pretend-pouted. “What? I thought I already WAS your daddy. At least, that’s what you’ve been calling me in my dreams!”; to which both of them cracked up laughing.

From Ben’s phone, the song “Get Into The Groove” by Madonna came on, and Ben jumped up from his box, grinning. 

“I fucking love this song!”, he said, dancing around and snapping his fingers. He held out his hand to Hux. “Dance with me!”

Hux held back, shaking his head. “Are you crazy? We’ll wake your mother!”

“She’s a dead-sleep sleeper. Nothing wakes her. Now come on! Please?”

Hux smiled and grabbed Ben’s hand, letting him dance him around and around the room. An intricate procedure, considering they had to sidestep at least a dozen boxes and unpacked items.

When the song ended, both were laughing and breathless. 

“I can’t remember the last time someone asked me to dance!”, Hux said, leaning against the wall. “That was really —“

But he didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. Ben had taken Hux’s face in-between his hands, and kissed him. Hux was so surprised that he couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak. 

“I really like you,” Ben said, when they parted. “I mean I really, REALLY like you.”

Hux hugged him, for once confident that his actions weren’t making Ben uncomfortable. “I really, REALLY like you, too. I must; I just danced with you to a _Madonna_ song.”

“You don’t like Madonna?!”

“Nope. Talentless hag.”

“Is it too late to take back the whole ‘I really really like you’ thing? Because —“

-.-.-

Ben and Hux made quite a bit of progress as the day wound down, able to either pack or throw out more than half of Leia’s possessions. Leia alternated between helping, and going into the kitchen, from which heavenly smells were emanating.

“The least I can do is make you guys dinner,” she said in-between trips. “I know Ben eats a bunch of garbage, and judging by how thin you are, Hux, I’d guess the same thing for you.”

She made them an absolutely delicious chicken lasagna, saying that she was making the most out of the last two days the gas was going to be on. 

“Eat a lot, both of you,” she said, as she set the pan in the middle of the table. “Less for me to deal with later.”

They both helped themselves to a large helping of the still-steaming food, and Leia poured them each a glass of milk. For herself she only had a small soda.

“This is incredible, Leia!”, Hux gushed through his mouthful. “Why aren’t you eating any?”

She explained that large quantities of food upset her stomach, while Ben supplied that his mom had always eaten ‘like a bird’. 

Hux was just biting into his second helping, when Leia asked, quite casually,

“So you two practice safe sex, right?”

Hux choked on his food and had to take several long swallows of milk. Ben pounded him on the back while exclaiming “Mom!” in an embarrassed tone.

“What? I wouldn’t be doing my job as a parent if I didn’t make sure!”

“Jesus, ma, I’m 32 years old!”

“So what? Age means nothing to a parent; you’re still my kid. You know a lot of people don’t seem to realize how important safe sexual practices are, nowadays. It seems like —“

By now Hux had recovered, and he said, red-faced, “We, uh, we aren’t t-there with each other. Yet.”

Leia looked back and forth between them incredulously. “ _Really_? But ... Ben didn’t you tell me that you’ve been dating for a few _months_?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “It’s called taking it slow, mom! Something ELSE that people don’t seem to realize the importance of these days!”

Leia nodded, agreeing yet undeterred. “Well don’t take it too slow, baby. I like this one; don’t let him get away.”

“I’m afraid he’d have to kill me to make me go away now, Leia.”

“Dammit; I left my butcher knife at home.”, Ben retorted, and they all burst into laughter.

-.-.-

Around 8pm, and the group decided to call it quits for the night. As the boys moved the last of the finished boxes to the dining room, Ben said, “We’ll finish straightening up and then I’ll drive you home. I’m gonna come back and sleep on the mattress in my old bedroom, so mom won’t be alone tonight.

“Um, Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“IF it didn’t make you uncomfortable, I’d love to — to stay with you?”

Ben set down his box, then turned slowly, looking at Hux. “I wanted to ask you, but I thought maybe you wouldn’t like that. It’s just a mattress, and I’ll have to take some pillows and a blanket from moms bed. Not very glamorous.”

“Anything I do with you feels glamorous.”

Ben hugged him, tackling him back against the wall. “That’s really sweet. Okay! Slumber party!”

Hux chuckled a little, moving away from Ben to say “But you’re sure your mom won’t mind that?”

“Of course she won’t!”, Leia said, coming up from behind them with a box. This one wasn’t taped shut; she held it out to them. “These are all the extra clothes of Ben I keep, for when he stays over. Everything’s been freshly washed, I’m sure both of you can find pajamas in there.”

-.-.-

An hour later find Leia in her room for the night, and the two men lounging on the mattress in Ben’s old bedroom. Ben had had to laugh a little, earlier; Hux chose to wear his own undershirt to bed, but borrowed a pair of Ben’s old sweatpants. Even pulling the drawstrings as tight as possible, they were still comically loose on him.

There was no tv in Ben’s room now, so they were watching Netflix from Hux’s phone, huddled close together to see the tiny screen.

Or rather, Ben was looking at the screen, but Hux was looking at Ben. He was so good-looking, and it was like he wasn’t even aware of it. Hux’s boyfriends in the past had always been cute, but Ben was in a whole other tier. Unable to help himself, he saw his hand reaching out towards Ben, towards his luscious-looking hair.

“Would it creep you out if I played with your hair?”, he heard himself ask, his hand already tangling itself in his smooth locks.

“If you don’t mind the lice, go ahead,” Ben teased, tilting his head back slightly to give Hux better access.

Hux’s other hand joined the first, and he spent a good deal of time braiding little pieces, massaging, and just continuously running his fingers through it.

“Your hair is so soft,” he told Ben, quietly. “What shampoos do you use?”

“Nope, that’s a trademark secret. I’ll tell you after we’ve been dating a year.”

“A year? Do you think we’ll actually be together that long?”

“I certainly hope so. You’re the bees knees, after all.”

“So basically you’re saying that I’m nothing? Because bees don’t have knees.”

“Do too.”

“Do NOT.”

“Okay, fine, then, uh, you’re the cats pajamas?”

Hux rolled his eyes. “Where are you pulling all of these weird sayings from? Your ass?”

“That’s where I get all my best work. You should have seen this shit I took the other day, I swear to god it looked just like Elvis’s head. I almost took a picture and sent it to you.”

Hux chuckled. “Strangely, that statement both gives me relief, yet disappoints me.”

“Er, in all seriousness though, since we’re on the topic of asses ...”

Ben’s face had turned red, and he suddenly seemed very tense and nervous. Hux had an intuitive flash of what he was about to say, and he beat Ben to the punch, taking hold of his hand and squeezing it.

“No. Sex of any kind is a big deal in a relationship, not just same-sex sex. I’m not gonna walk out if you say you’re not ready, Ben. All I care about is you being honest with me.”

Looking him in the eye, Ben said, “I’m not ready.”

Hux nodded. “Okay. And besides, we couldn’t do it tonight anyway; we have nothing to be ‘safe’ with. Wouldn’t want to disappoint your mom.”

Ben burst out laughing, quite loudly. “Yes, because my primary concern when fucking is what my MOM would think!”

The two continued to talk and joke some more, watching their movie from Hux’s phone. Eventually the conversation lagged on Ben’s end, and, looking over, Hux smiled when he saw that Ben had fallen asleep.

_Oh dear God I think I’m crazy about this guy. Not just crazy, but ....._

_..... three months of dating is an awfully short time to decide that you’re falling in love with someone, Hux._

“It’s too late for that, because I AM,” Hux answered his thoughts out loud, very softly. He gently covered Ben with the blanket and then laid himself down as well. 

He was out within minutes, smiling all the way into his dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

“This dude is an idiot. Why is he just standing there?! He saw the one girl get fucked up, didn’t he?”, Ben exclaimed in a frustrated tone.

“Yes,” Hux replied, chuckling, “But if people made SMART choices in scary movies, then scary movies wouldn’t exist at all, would they?”

“I guess you’re right,” Ben agreed, taking a sip of his soda. “You make a good point.”

It was Saturday night, and they were lounging on Ben’s bed, watching a movie. Hux loved Ben’s bed; it was ridiculously huge, and comfortable, with multiple soft pillows and thick blankets. Ben was sitting cross-legged at the head, a pillow stuffed behind the small of his back for support, and Hux was laying on his stomach next to him, his head resting on his crossed arms on a pillow near the foot. There was a bowl of popcorn sitting in-between them, and each man would occasionally reach forwards or backward to grab a handful of the buttery kernels.

They weren’t really taking much, but this wasn’t uncomfortable at all. They had reached a level of companionship where they didn’t need to rush to fill silences with words. But tonight was slightly different; Ben had something on his mind, but he wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. He softly cleared his throat several times, before finally getting out,

“Do you ever watch porn?”

Hux looked back at him over his shoulder, the question taking him by surprise. “Yeah. Of course. I mean, I think everybody does at some point, right?”

Ben nodded. He could feel that his face had turned red but he was determined to go on with this. 

“Right. So, um, last night I was on Pornhub, right? And I’ve never ever watched, um, gay videos before. But I did last night. And, um, some stuff looked kind of ... fun.”

Hux slowly got off of his stomach and sat up straight, so that he was next to Ben. 

“I’m sure it did, because that’s acting, you know? The same with straight porn. But if you’re a guy and you’ve never done it with another guy, it’s not like that. It’s weird and messy and could possibly be uncomfortable.”

Ben nodded, looking down at his hands. His next words came out barely audible, and Hux had to lean closer to him, to fully hear.

“I ... I feel like, I’m ready, to try.”

Hux blinked in amazement. He and Ben had been dating for almost 9 months now, and while they had gotten a bit more comfortable with being physical with one another, Ben had continuously made it clear that he hadn’t been ready to go ‘all the way’ with Hux, yet.

Until now, apparently.

Hux reached over and took Ben’s hands into his own, squeezing them. “Are you sure?”

Instead of answering, Ben leaned into Hux and began kissing him. Something about this kiss was different, though; it was deeper, and slightly more aggressive than Hux was used to receiving from Ben. 

Hux’s heart was pounding in his ears, and he felt like he might pass out from excitement.

It was terrifying.  
It was _exhilarating._

-.-.-

“Holy shit.”

It was the first words either had spoken out-loud in quite some time, and it was a Hux who said it. He was laying across Ben’s chest, the latter’s fingers gently pulling through his hair in a comforting sweep.

Ben looked down at him as he said it.

“What’s wrong?”

Smiling, Hux said, “Nothing is wrong. Everything is RIGHT. Did ... did you like that?”

Ben nodded. “That was so good. I didn’t expect that. I feel stupid that I was scared and made you wait this fucking long.”

Hux chuckled, and then Ben gathered his courage and went on:

“So you know how you said Phasma is moving out soon?”

Hux nodded. Phasma had decided to go back to school, to earn her Masters. She had found a small apartment that was close to both the campus and her new job, which would be far more convenient (and much less expensive) than the two and a half hour commute it would take her from their current place. While Hux was sad to see her go, he was incredibly proud of her ambitions. She would be moving in a months time, and each day she and Hux would pack up a tiny bit of her stuff.

“Yeah,” Hux answered Ben’s observation, shifting so that he was looking him in the face. “Why?”

“Well, um, I was wondering if, that is, if you WANTED to, um, maybe WE could move in together? Me, and you?”

When Hux gave him a stunned silence, Ben blushed and said, “I’m sorry. Dammit I knew it was me way too soon to ask you that! It’s just that I like so much when you’re around me, and ...”

“Did you mean that you’d want to move into my place, or that I should move in here?”

“Actually, I was thinking somewhere totally new. With our combined income I think we could get a decent sized place. We could fill the shelves with your Legos and my collectibles. Maybe we could get a pet? You’re always saying how much you wanted to get a cat but couldn’t because Phasma’s allergic.”

“You’d really want to live with me?”, Hux asked, softly.

“Of course I would. I love you, you know.”

Hux uttered a small gasp. 

“W-what?”

“I think, I love you. I think that —“

Hux slid out of Ben’s arms and got to his feet. He began pulling on his clothes, avoiding eye contact with Ben sat up in a panic.

“What’s wrong?!”

“You can’t say things like that, Ben. You can’t say that you love me, because you DON’T. You DON’T.”

Ben felt sick to his stomach. What had he done wrong? Despite the angriness of his words, Ben could feel that underneath what Hux was saying, there wasn’t any anger at all: there was fear. And sadness.

So Ben got out of bed and quickly pulled on his pants, following after Hux who was now in the living room, gathering up his things. 

“Where are my keys?”

“Keys? Please don’t go! Look, I’m sorry if I said something wrong, but please stay. We can talk about it!”

But Hux had found his keys and was at the door. He pulled it open and said, 

“I need to go. Goodnight, Ben.”

Ben sat on the edge of his couch and stared at the closed door for a long time. What had he done? Why had Hux left like that? Because Ben said that he loved him?

“He doesn’t love you back,” Ben said, hardly aware that he was now speaking out-loud. “He didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but he couldn’t very well say it back, because it wouldn’t be true.”

As he stood up, still in a daze, and prepared to go back to bed, his toe grazed along the edge of something, sticking out from underneath the couch. He bent over and picked it up: it was Hux’s phone.

A small swell of relief flooded his chest, and he breathed a little easier. If this was here, it meant Hux had to come back for it. When he came back, Ben could force him to sit and talk to him.

Ben pressed the home button, and smiled. Hux’s lock screen was the two of them, together. In the picture, they were standing underneath the flashing neon sign of a diner that Hux wanted to try. Both of them were making funny faces, and Hux had his arm around Ben’s waist.

_It’s okay; whatever I did, Hux can’t be angry at me forever. He’ll probably be over first thing in the morning._

A comforting thought, and one that Ben carried with him into his room.

-.-.-

The next day, Sunday, Ben got up early and got dressed, wanting to be prepared for Hux’s inevitable arrival to retrieve his phone, whenever that may be. 

He made himself eat breakfast, although he didn’t have an appetite in the slightest. While he crunched his cereal, he mentally practiced all the things he felt he should say to Hux.

 _I’m sorry,_ he thought, _I realize now that it was way too soon to tell you that I love you, and it was far too soon to ask you to live together. But the thing is ..._

A soft knock on his door interrupted his thoughts, and he nearly choked on the bite of cereal in his mouth. He quickly swallowed, wiped his face, straightened his hair, and went to answer it.

He was both surprised, and disappointed, to find not Hux, but Phasma, standing on the other side.

“Hi, Ben,” she said, attempting a smile. “Can I come in?”

Ben let her in, wondering what in the hell she was doing there.

“So, no easy way to say this, but Hux sent me to get his phone. He didn’t want to come himself.”

Despair raged through Ben so strongly that he felt ill. He tried to keep this from Phasma though, nodding and leading her into his kitchen, where the phone was sitting by his now-soggy bowl of cereal.

She put it in her pocket, then said, hesitantly,

“I ... don’t suppose I could trouble you, for some cereal? I was out of the apartment so fast, I didn’t have time —“

“Of course!”, Ben said, quickly pulling out a chair for her. She sat and he went to his cabinets, pulling out a bowl. He listed off all the cereals he had, until he picked one that she liked. He brought the box over to her, along with the bowl, spoon, and the container of milk.

She ate quietly for awhile, and Ben did the same. He had so many things he wanted to ask her, and she had some things she wanted to say; but neither knew where to begin.

“You scared him, you know,” Phasma finally got out, looking up from her bowl.

Ben nodded. “I figured that, I thought maybe I came on too strong. Did — did he tell you what I said?”

“He was quite upset when he got home, but, something about love, and living together?”

Ben nodded again. “I guess I shouldn’t have said that, about the love. Well, about either thing, really. But I feel like _that_ tipped him over the edge.”

“Is that true, though? You love him?”

“I think about him constantly. When something good happens to me, he’s the first person I want to tell. The same when bad things happen. When he’s here, things just feel, I dunno, brighter. Like, as long as he’s here, things don’t feel as bad. I can get out of my head, and I can be MYSELF with him. If all of that is what love is, then yes, it’s true.”

Phasma sighed, looking down into her bowl and absently pushing around the tiny marshmallows. 

“I don’t know if I should tell you this,” she said after awhile, quietly, “But I’m going to, so you understand a little. Has Hux ever told you anything about his exes?”

Ben shook his head.

“Okay, well, there was one ex in particular, a guy he was dating about two years back. His name was Poe. This guy, well, you kinda remind me of him, you know? You both had the same kind of charisma, good looks, etc, and both of you seemed REALLY into Hux.”

She paused, smiling a little. “But that’s an insult to you, to compare you to him. Because you’re NOT like him. He was ... terrible, to Hux. In so many ways. I pushed and pushed for Hux to break up with him, but he didn’t for so long. And every time I asked him why not, do you know what he told me?”

“What?”

“He’d say, ‘I can’t leave him, because he loves me.’” She shook her head, sighing. “I won’t get into the finer details of what all Poe did, because that’s Hux’s business. But it wasn’t pretty. And when he finally left, Hux just shut down completely. Would barely eat, stayed up practically all night. I think ... I think when you told Hux that you loved him, it brought back flashes of Poe. I think maybe he felt like he needed to walk away from you, before you could hurt him the way Poe did. Does that make sense?”

Ben nodded. He stood up and collected both of their dishes, putting them into the sink. He took a while to calm his face, to turn back around and look at her.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Ben said, taking more time than necessary to rinse the bowls, to avoid turning. “I would never physically hurt him, I would never say anything to make him feel bad. I would never be unfaithful, he would never have to question where I was, or what I was doing. Hux is an amazing person, and I don’t want him to — to —“

He broke down quietly into tears, feeling ashamed that Phasma was seeing him like this. But she seemed to think nothing was disgraceful about it. She got up and put her arms around his shoulders, hugging him.

-.-.-

Phasma had stayed with him until Ben calmed down. When she left, she promised to try and talk to Hux, to get him speaking to Ben again.

But her efforts apparently weren’t enough, because when Ben got to work the next day, Hux wasn’t sitting at his desk. Ben waited awhile, then he casually made his way to Human Resources, as he was friends with the girl who worked there.

“Armitage? Oh, yeah; he called us Sunday, said that something came up and he needed to use some of his vacation days this week. So he won’t be back until next Monday,” she explained to him. “But wait, aren’t you guys friends? Wouldn’t you already know this?”

But Ben hadn’t known how to answer that. WERE they still friends? Because Hux’s taking a week off of work just to avoid seeing him seemed rather like having a door slammed in his face, to Ben.

Ben could hardly work for the rest of the day, he was so distracted. He kept staring at his phone, hoping to get a text, a call, SOMETHING. But all he got was silence.

The rest of the week passed much the same way. Several times Ben composed lengthy texts to Hux, apologizing, explaining himself; only to end with him hitting the Back button before he could send it. He walked around constantly with his stomach in knots, and he developed a headache that just wouldn’t leave him alone, no matter how many aspirins he took.

By Friday he’d decided he’d had enough, and called into work. He spent almost all day in bed, only leaving except to occasionally use the bathroom.

Around 4pm, the doorbell rang, and Ben reluctantly pulled himself out of bed to get it. He was expecting a package, and knew that if he didn’t open the door within a few seconds, the delivery guy would just leave it there. And he didn’t want that; the last time, his crazy across the hall neighbor had taken it into her own apartment, telling him she ‘kept it safe’ while he was at work.

It had been partially opened.

So he quickly pulled open the door, and gasped a little, thrown off.

“Hey,” said Hux, softly. “This isn’t a bad time, is it?”

Ben wanted to tackle him and hug him, he felt so relieved to see him. 

“Not at all; come in,” he said, calmly, holding the door open wider for him.

Hux came in and sat down on the edge of the couch. Ben joined him, keeping a safe distance away so that Hux wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.

“So,” Hux said, after a few awkwardly silent moments, “I guess the first thing I need to say is, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to —“

“No,” Hux said, holding up his hand. “Let me get this out, please. You scared me a great deal when you told me that, Ben. I’m used to loving other people, but I’m NOT used to them actually loving me back. I’ve had some bad relationships in the past, and it seems like they all started out with very quick declarations of ‘love’. After the last one I said I was gonna be careful, and not make the same mistakes ... and then you said that and you blew my whole game plan. So I need you to know that, okay? That you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Ben let a quiet pass between them, in order to fully appreciate Hux’s words. He scooted closer to him and took hold of his hand, gently.

“I appreciate you telling me that, Hux. So let me tell you something: you remember when I told you about how my father died?”

Hux nodded.

“Okay. Well. I think one of my biggest regrets of the situation was that our last words were very angry. I never told him that I loved him, and then he was gone and it was too late to say it. So I told myself that after that, if I loved someone I’d fucking SAY it. I know how stupid that sounds, but —“

Hux threw his arms around him, squeezing. “That’s not stupid, Ben. And I appreciate you, telling me that. I ... I’m so sorry. Please forgive me?”

Ben hugged him close, not wanting to let go.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much,” he murmured into Hux’s hair. “I was this close to finding a boom box and standing outside your apartment with it, John Cusack style.”

Hux laughed and embraced him harder. “I would have both loved, and absolutely hated, that. What song would you have played?”

“Something Madonna, of course,” Ben joked, setting them both to laughing. When the spell had passed, Ben continued,

“But seriously, from now on, if we have problems, or if one of us says or does the wrong thing, no running away from it. We talk about it. Agreed?”

“Agreed.”

Ben let go and held him out, his face having taken on a wary expression.

“So ... I really want to use the L word with you, right now; but I’m scared you’ll run out again.”

Beating him to the punch, Hux took his face between his hands and tenderly kissed him. “I love you, too, Ben.”

Ben smiled and pretended to be confused. “What? Love? I was talking about Lesbians. Some great new videos on the porn sight, if you’re interested,” he said, teasing him.

Hux rolled his eyes and lightly punched Ben’s shoulder. “No, thanks. But here’s another L for you: living together. I was thinking about it, and, I think I’d like living with you. That is, if the offer is still on the table?”

Ben leaned in and started kissing him, all but climbing into his lap. When he moved from Hux’s lips to his neck, Hux took the opportunity to ask, 

“So is that a yes?”

“Shush, Hux,” Ben mumbled, growling playfully as he pushed him back into the couch. “It’s a Yes; now I’m just working on closing the deal.”

“But there’s nothing to —“

“I swear if you ruin this with your logic, when we DO move, we’re getting separate bedrooms!”

So Hux just smiled and laid back, relishing the feel of his boyfriends lips on him.


	4. Chapter 4

After the very last box had been unpacked, and everything was situated according to both of their tastes, Ben did something both goofy, and very, very sweet.

He stepped outside of the front door, and made Hux do the same.

“What are you doing?”

Grinning, Ben replied, “Don’t laugh, but, can I carry you through the doorway?”

Hux immediately backed away, shaking his head. “What the hell? No! We didn’t get married, dumbass!”

But Ben wouldn’t let up on it. “I know that, but still. Please? Pretty please?”

“You’d drop me.”

“No I wouldn’t! Come on, Hux, don’t ruin it for me!”

Hux just sighed and moved into Ben’s outstretched arms. He was surprised at the apparent ease with which Ben could lift him, and he couldn’t help but smile at how proud Ben looked as he walked him the few feet through the door.

“There. Was that so hard?”

“No, no ... but you can put me down anytime, you know.”

Ben just smirked and adjusted Hux more firmly. “But I don’t want to. You feel really good. Plus I think if I carried you for like an hour, it counts as a workout, because there’s no way I’m making the gym today.”

So Hux just stayed where he was, as Ben walked him all around the apartment, talking about things they still had to buy.

“Plus we have to get to the grocery store, now that the fridge is finally on. Never thought I’d say this, but I’m tired of fast food.”

“Shit, you’re not alone.”

Eventually Ben carried Hux into the bedroom and laid him down gently. The bed in here was even larger than the one Ben had had in his old apartment, and obscenely comfortable.

“Gee, look where we are,” Ben said slyly, crawling on top of Hux. He began kissing him, his hands roaming slowly all the over his body. “I was thinking, we really should test how durable this bed is. To be safe.”

Hux smiled and wrapped his arms around Ben, kissing him back. “You might be right. Other places need to be tested, too. The couch, the kitchen table, the floor, the —“

By now Ben had completely devoured Hux’s lips, and the time for talking was past.

The day was a big day for them. After about two months of hunting, Ben and Hux had finally found the perfect place for the both of them. It was in a lovely, quiet neighborhood, and only about 20 minutes away from work. They really lucked out on the rent; the landlord was an old friend of Ben’s father, and he rented them a spacious two bedroom for the price of a one. It was on the 4th floor, the very top right corner of the building. 

Moving in took over a week, with packing up both of their apartments, hauling everything to the new one, and then unloading/unpacking. On top of that, it was around this time that Phasma moved into her new place, so the boys helped her with that, too. This coupled with work made for a very busy, and somewhat stressful, time period.

But now it was over. 

And neither man could be happier.

After about a week, they decided to actually make the spare bedroom into a proper guest room, putting in a decent sized bed, a dresser, a tv, and other things. The first person they invited to come stay with them was Ben’s mother Leia, and that was a really pleasant experience. All three of them made dinner together, and they stayed up far into the night, playing cards, telling stories, and laughing.

People at work knew about Ben and Hux now, too. They figured it would be in their best interests to disclose their relationship to HR, as was necessary when one person was of a higher rank than the other (although they worked in separate departments, Ben’s position was technically higher than Hux’s, hence the necessity); plus they imagined that even the slowest of coworkers would figure out that they were together, considering that 90% of the time they drove to work in the same car, left together, and spent each break and lunch with each other.

Everything was going beautifully ... until about three months into living together. Hux started acting strangely. He’d go out on the patio for long periods of time, talking on the phone, then get somewhat secretive when Ben tried to ask him about it.

And one day, Ben watched as Hux clicked off his phone, then promptly turned and punched the brick wall outside.

Ben jumped up and made him come inside, taking him into the bathroom and slowly wrapping his now-bruised and somewhat bloody hand.

“So,” he said, slowly, “You know I don’t like prying into your personal business. But. You’ve been upset for like a week now. I’d really like it, if you allowed me to help, with whatever’s bothering you. Because, you know, I kind of love you and stuff.”

Hux smiled a little at that. Taking a deep breath, he said, “I’ve been talking to my father.”

Ben nodded, understanding a little. Hux had told him that he and his father had never gotten along, which, obviously, Ben could understand, given his own complicated relationship with Han. Hux’s parents had divorced when Hux was 5, and, given that he was the more financially stable one, Brendol Hux had been the one to receive primary custody of his son. After Hux graduated from high school, his dad moved back to his native Ireland.

“I’m sorry, don’t be mad, but he wants to come visit me soon. But you don’t have to worry; he doesn’t have to come HERE. I’m sure I can find a decently priced hotel for —“

“A hotel?”, Ben asked, confused. “Why would he go to a hotel when we have the extra bedroom right here?”

Hux sighed and got up, walking into the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of Coke, and sat down at the table, sipping it slowly. Ben joined him, sitting next to him, waiting for him to reply.

“My dad ... he isn’t the most pleasant person in the world,” Hux finally said, quietly. “And I ... I don’t know how he’s going to react, to, um ...”

Something clicked inside Ben’s mind, and he reached across the table, taking Hux’s hand.

“Does your dad, uh, is he aware, that you’re —?”

Hux kind of shrugged his shoulders. 

“Yes ... and no. I ‘came out’ to him my senior year of high school, but at the time he said I was just confused. After he moved back to Belfast we didn’t really talk about it a lot, you know? The last time he came to see me was 4 years ago, and he was convinced that Phasma was my girlfriend. I told him that she wasn’t, and I told him to his face that I was still gay, but ... I don’t know, Ben. It’s hard to explain. He knows, but won’t accept it. In fact after that last visit, my grandmother wrote me like a week later asking when I would fly overseas with ‘the pretty blond girl’ dad told them about, to introduce her to the family. So clearly he’s not really honest about me to other people, either.”

“I’m sorry, man,” Ben said, patting his hand. “That’s awful. I can help you think of something, if you want, so that he doesn’t come.”

Hux shook his head. “No; I need to stop being a baby about this and just face him.” Here he paused, giving Ben a smile. “Besides, maybe if he sees me actually living with a guy, and sees that I’m happy, he’ll finally understand.”

“Well, if he gets here and you decide to back out, we can always just say I’m your roommate.”

Hux laughed at this, nearly knocking over his glass in the process.

“Yeah, okay. My ‘roommate’ who just happens to sleep in the same room as me, in the same bed, half-naked.”

Ben got up and stood behind Hux’s chair, kissing the back of his neck. “Only _half_ naked?”, he murmured, slipping Hux’s shirt down to kiss his shoulder. “How disappointing.”

Hux shivered as Ben put his head fully down his shirt, now kissing slowly along Hux’s chest.

“Sex doesn’t solve every problem, Ben,” he tried (and failed) to protest.

“Maybe not ... but sometimes your head is clearer, after a little ... stress relief.”

He picked Hux up and began carrying him away. 

“I’ll have to take your word for it,” Hux said, teasing him. “It’s not really relieving stress at all, because as soon as we’re done, I’m worrying over when we get to do it again. It’s a vicious cycle.”

“There’s a solution,” Ben told him, laying him in the bed and stripping off his shirt. “We just never stop doing it. Ever.”

“It’s that easy?”

“It’s that _hard_ ,” Ben whispered, kissing him again.

-.-.-

The day of Brendol’s arrival came, and Hux had been a basket of nerves the week leading up to it. He went to the store and stocked up on his dads favorite foods and beer, he cleaned, double cleaned and triple-cleaned the apartment. To Ben, this all seemed like Hux was going very over-board, especially considering Hux’s dad was only staying the weekend, but he didn’t want to say this and further add to Hux’s stress.

It was Friday, and Hux took off work in order to pick his dad up from the airport and drive him over. By the time Ben got home, Brendol would be there.

Now Ben parked the car and headed into their building, mildly surprised to find that his heart was thudding as he got into the elevator. He had to calm himself before he put the key into the lock of the door, and stepped in.

Tall. Just slightly taller than his son, although shorter than Ben. Surprisingly broad-shouldered for a man his age. Short gray hair and a chin length grey beard. The same bright blue eyes as Hux.

He stood up when Ben came into the room, looking him up and down, assessing him. Hux was just coming out of the kitchen, a beer in hand for his father. He set it on the table and said, somewhat nervously,

“Dad, this is my boyfriend, Ben, the one I’ve been telling you about. Ben, this is my dad, Brendol Hux.”

Ben’s heart swelled, over Hux actually calling him his boyfriend in front of his dad. He took the hand that Brendol had extended and shook it, once again surprised at how crushing a grip a man that age had.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sir.”

Deep, scratchy-gruff voice. The kind that people have when they’ve been a heavy smoker their entire lives. 

“Likewise.”

Hux showed his dad around a bit, and listed off some things that he and Ben wanted to take him to do, this weekend, in the city.

Brendol paused in front of the far dining-room wall, as did everyone who was there for the first time. The wall was covered in colorful-framed pictures. Family, friends, coworkers, and a LOT of Ben and Hux, themselves.

But Brendol wasn’t looking at any of those: he was fixated on a picture of Hux and Phasma. Tapping it with his finger, he turned to his son and said,

“I still don’t understand how you let a pretty girl like that slip between your fingers, son.”

Ben could see the anger jump into Hux’s face. Before he could respond, Ben walked behind him and put both arms around him.

“He let the pretty girl get away ... to snag an even prettier boy. Right, Hux?”

But Hux wasn’t in the mood to be appeased. He shrugged Ben’s arms off of him and said, haltingly,

“She didn’t ‘slip’ anywhere, dad. To slip would indicate that I had a grip on her to begin with, which I DIDN’T. Which I never DID, or ever WOULD, because I DON’T LIKE WOMEN, dad!”

Brendol looked surprised, and Ben guessed that he wasn’t used to his son contradicting him, or ‘talking back’ in the way he just had. Before the tense moment could escalate further, Ben said,

“It’s hot in here. Let’s all go sit in the living room, okay? Your beer is probably getting warm.”

They did as Ben suggested, Hux grabbing a beer for himself out of the fridge as he passed it. Hux sat on the sofa next to his dad, a good distance away, and Ben sat in the chair across from them.

Seeing that Hux was still in need of calming down before he could speak appropriately, Ben said, cheerfully,

“So how was your flight?”

Another discovery: Brendon’s accent became quite thick, the longer he spoke, and it was a bit hard for Ben to understand at times. But from what he could gather, Brendol slept most of the time, and needed to do a good deal of stretching before his legs felt loose enough to get off the plane.

“But that’s the problem with being old; you have to stretch before doing almost everything. I didn’t have this problem in my younger days; I used to be fit as a fiddle.”

He looked over Ben carefully. “You look like you spend time in the gym, too; same as I used to.”

Ben nodded, and told Brendol about the kind of workouts he did. He ended with saying that one day, he’d really like to be a personal fitness trainer.

Cocking a thumb at Hux, Brendol said,

“Start with this one. He’s still as skinny as he was as a teenager.”

“You know what, dad? You really don’t —“

“I like the way Hux looks,” Ben interrupted, smiling. “I still can’t believe I landed somebody that handsome; it seems surreal.”

Hux blushed and smiled. Brendol cleared his throat, busying himself with the last few sips of his beer. When it was gone, Ben went to bring him another, and Hux one as well. When he sat back down, Brendol asked him why he wasn’t drinking.

“I don’t drink, actually.”

“You don’t drink? Why?”

Ben calmly told him what he always told anyone who inquired about his reluctance to drink, thinking his explanation would be the end of it.

But Brendol merely frowned and took another slug of his own beer. “That’s a bit ridiculous, wouldn’t you say? Men are not destined to follow the paths of their fathers; having a single beer wouldn’t turn you into an ‘alcoholic’, as you put it.”

Before Ben could answer, Hux jumped to his defense and said, harshly,

“Then maybe he just doesn’t like the taste of liquor, dad. Whatever the reason, it’s his own business what he does or doesn’t do.”

“I was just making a statement, son. No need to get so sensitive about it. Lord, I can see that you’re the woman in your relationship. What’s your next feat, cooking dinner?”

Hux’s face turned almost as red as his hair, and he looked to be in physical pain. Again, Ben jumped in and said,

“Actually, I’m going to cook. It’s so warm I thought I’d make some stuff on the grill. You look like a steak man to me; am I right?”

Brendol nodded, and for the first time he smiled. “Very right.”

So Ben went out to the patio and lit the small grill, throwing on a variety of sausages, burgers, and steaks for them. While he was doing that, Hux, calmer now, had found a station on tv that actually played UK football, which his dad was really happy about.

Ben looked out over the yard of the apartment complex as he grilled. There was a pool down in the center of it, that he had been trying to convince Hux to go to with him since they’d moved in. Right now there was only a few ladies in it, most of them with little kids donning water wings or riding on floaties.

 _Maybe that’d be a good way for us to spend Sunday,_ he thought to himself, flipping a burger. _Relaxing, non-confrontational fun._

And they definitely needed some fun. Ben could actually FEEL how tense Hux was right now, how eager to gain some sort of approval from his father. It made Ben immensely grateful for his own mother, and how loving and supportive she had always been of him.

He finished the last of the food and brought the big plate inside, setting it on the coffee table where Hux had already put plates, utensils, and condiments.

“Bon appetite.”

-.-.-

The rest of the evening passed without incident. Brendol seemed as though he had gotten more comfortable being around them; he didn’t even flinch as they shared a kiss directly in front of him.

Ben excused himself early, saying that he always took some time to life his weights in the bedroom before going to sleep. He left Hux to get his dad settled in his room, thinking it would only be a few minutes. Ben realized that he did 20 reps of 10 lifts for each hand, and Hux still hadn’t joined him.

Taking his iPod headphones from his ears, he crept quietly to the bedroom door, which was open just a crack, and listened to the apparently on-going conversation that Hux was having with Brendol, in the guest room.

“Just let me give you her number,” he was insisting quietly to his son. “She’s a nice Irish girl, wonderful family, a good cook, and pretty as the dawn. I know you’d like her, Armitage.”

Ben’s breath caught, and despite trying to control it, he felt his fists clench in anger. He had been nothing but polite to Hux’s father since the moment he stepped through the door, and Brendol was trying to hook his son up with somebody else? Really?

“Dad. No, I wouldn’t. I don’t like women. And even if I did, I happen to be in a committed relationship. I’m living with him. Do you think I’m the sort of person who’d walk out like that? Honestly?”

“It’s not walking out, it’s upgrading. What do you think your poor mother, may she rest easily, would think? She had such dreams for you, Armitage. But you’re a _salesman?_ You’re in your 30’s yet still no real grasp on life. It worries me.”

“Dad, I’m happy. For once in my life, I’m really, truly happy. Why can’t you be happy for me?”

“Son, you might be happy now; but you’re young. When you get older, you’ll regret wasting your youth like this. You’ll regret not having a normal household, having kids, a real family —“

“Who says I can’t have kids with Ben, if that’s something we both want?”

“Did I never have the sex talk with you, Armitage? Did I never explain how anatomy and reproduction works?”

Ben could hear the bed creak as Hux stood up. “I’m not getting into this with you right now, dad. But let me tell you something: you won’t ruin this for me. Ben is the BEST thing that’s ever happened to me, and you’re not ruining this. We love each other. You can either accept that, and accept that that’s never going to change, or you can get the fuck out of our home. It’s as simple as that.”

Ben moved away quickly as he heard Hux moving toward the door. “I’ll give you tonight to think about it. Let me know how you feel in the morning. Goodnight.”

Ben put a carefully blank expression on his face, sticking his earbuds back in and lifting his dumbbells, when he heard Hux start down the hallway. He didn’t want Hux to realize that he had been eavesdropping on him.

Hux stood in the doorway and looked at Ben, who was facing in the opposite direction, for a long time. When Ben completed one set, and put the weight back on the floor, Hux came behind him and wrapped both arms around his shoulders.

“Hey,” Ben said cheerfully, popping the buds back out, turning towards him. “Your dad all set for the night?”

Hux nodded, his arms still around Ben.

“I love you,” he murmured, leaning forward to kiss Ben’s cheek. Then he let go and climbed into his side of the bed. “I’m feeling a little tired, so I’m going to go to sleep early, okay?”

Ben immediately switched off the light and laid down beside Hux, despite Hux protesting that he didn’t have to do so, if he wasn’t tired yet.

They laid there quietly for a little bit, each lost in their own thoughts, before Ben said,

“You okay?”

Hux did something between a head shake and a shrug, still facing the wall.

“He’s only here a few days, babe. You said he loves baseball, right? We’ll take him to the game tomorrow; I’m sure we’ll all have a lot of fun.”

Hux didn’t answer, and Ben became alarmed when out of no where, Hux started to cry. It was quiet, with Hux smothering his sobs with a pillow, but it still caused a huge pain in Ben’s chest. He put his arms around Hux and rocked him, trying to calm and comfort him.

“Oh god, don’t cry Hux! You’re gonna make ME cry! It’s okay!”

“Stop saying that!”, Hux cried, wiping his hand across his face. “It’s not okay! Nothing I ever do is ‘okay’ to him! He makes me feel like ... like I’m nothing!”

He put his face against Ben’s chest, and Ben held him, running his fingers back and forth through his hair. Eventually, he calmed down enough to say,

“He’s my father. I love him but ... but I also hate him. Is that wrong? Am I going to Hell for thinking that?”

“If you are, so am I,” Ben answered him. “Felt that way about Han. It was like, for every good memory I have with him, there’s at least ten that overshadow it.”

Hux nodded. “I get that. I really do.”

He detached himself from Ben and sat up, grabbing a Kleenex from the nightstand and wiping his face. Taking a shuddery breath, he joked,

“Okay, so, then we’re both going to hell. Can we have our own private section?”

Ben smiled. He laid back down and held out his arms. Hux slid into them, laying across him. 

“VIP section. We can decorate, have some good food, a bunch of stuff. And of course, music. Nothing but Madonna pumping through the speakers 24/7.”

“Christ, that really DOES sound like hell,” Hux said, cracking them both up.

When they had calmed down, Ben gently turned Hux’s face towards him, and said,

“But honestly, no matter where we went, Hux, it’d feel like heaven, so long as you were with me. And you’re not ‘nothing’; and I’m gonna keep on repeating this until it gets through your head, but, you’re literally EVERYTHING. And if your dad can’t see that, HE can go to hell. Not OUR hell, his own. So there.”

Hux smiled and bright his hand up to Ben’s face, stroking his skin. 

“You’re so sweet you’ll end up giving me diabetes from your sugar overload,” he said, leaning up to kiss him. “But thank you; that makes me feel a lot better.”

“Good. You ready to go to sleep now?”

Hux nodded, snuggling down into Ben’s side. “I am. ‘Night. Loves you.”

“Loves you. And don’t worry; everything will be better in the morning.”

-.-.-

But Ben had been wrong.

When they woke up, Hux went in to wake up his father for breakfast ...

... and instead found Brendol, and his suitcase packed up and gone. Apparently he had taken Hux seriously when Hux told him to either accept his relationship, or leave. So he left.

He had left a note explaining himself, saying that he took a cab to the airport, having left while Ben and Hux were still asleep.

Hux sat down hard on the freshly made bed, reading over the rest of the note silently. It was long, and detailed, and extremely painful. Although Ben timidly asked what it said, Hux couldn’t bring himself to tell him.

When he finished reading, Hux calmly tore the letter into little bits, and stepped onto the balcony, sprinkling them over the ledge. Ben was a little worried, at Hux’s eerie calm and quiet attitude. He fully expected a cursing, crying outburst at any second, and was trying to mentally prepare himself for it.

Hux went into the bedroom and closed the door behind him, and Ben had to fight himself, on the urge to go after him. He knew Hux needed a little time alone to sort through his feelings; but by the time 15 minutes had passed he began to get worried. He had just gotten to his feet, intending to knock on the door, when it opened and Hux came out. He was fully dressed, and he was smiling.

“I called your mother; we’re taking her out to breakfast. So go get dressed, I told her we’d be there in about thirty minutes.”

Ben tilted his head, confused. “Are ... are you sure? I mean ... you’re okay?”

Hux nodded. “I’m great. And I’m in the mood to celebrate the positive things in my life. Your mother is one of those things. Also I intended to spend SOME time this weekend with a parent, and dammit, that’s what I’m gonna do. Now get dressed.”

So Ben went off to do as he was told, whistling as he got dressed.

“Hey Hux? What do you think about going down to the animal shelter either later today or tomorrow? Finally adopt a kitty?”, he called through the door.

“It’s a date, babe. More positive things to celebrate.”

 _Adopting a furbaby; starting a little family. Positive, indeed,_ Ben thought to himself, smiling as he finished dressing.


	5. Chapter 5

“Thanks so much for coming with me. I wasn’t really sure what I should be looking for, or even where to start, you know?”

Phasma nodded, wiping her nose with the tissue she had clutched in her hand. She knew she was probably getting on his nerves, but she couldn’t stop crying. In fact, she hadn’t really been able to fully stop crying since he called her up a week ago.

Ben and Hux had been living together for about a year and a half, and domestic life was highly favorable to both of them. 

About a year back, with Hux’s support, Ben cut back his hours at work to part-time in order to pursue his passion of being a personal fitness trainer. And he made a small success of it; helping people to achieve the fitness and health goals that they desired.

Hux, with Ben’s support, had followed Phasma’s lead and gone back to school part-time, to achieve a teaching degree. Ben knew that he could do this; Hux was incredibly smart, and had a passion and a patience to him that made for a perfect educator.

They even had children, sort of. Some months ago, they had gone to an animal shelter to adopt a cat. They had looked around for at least an hour, until Hux had absolutely fallen in love with a small orange and white kitten that meowed whenever he came within 10 feet of the cage. The proprietor opened up the bars, but the cat, while it clearly liked him, wouldn’t come to him. Instead, it ran further back towards its bedding area.

“You’ll have to forgive her,” the man told them apologetically. “She gets real separation anxiety any time someone tries to take her from her sister.”

“Sister?”, Ben had asked, confused.

The man nodded. “Yeah, look,” he said, pointing. Ben and Hux squinted and suddenly they could make out a moving shape next to the orange kitten. The sister was so dark that she blended perfectly with the shadows of the cage, rendering her almost invisible.

“They went through two other shelters before being sent here,” he told them now, shaking his head. “Always together. It’s a shame, because the other one is so shy that no one ever wants her, and so many people have wanted the orange one but she won’t let herself be taken away from the other. Sad, she’s missed out on some good homes.”

Ben and Hux had looked at each other, and both knew what the other was thinking. Smiling, Ben told the man that the would love to give a home to both of them.

While the happy man went to get the paperwork, Hux lowered himself to one knee, to try and coax the pair out.

“It’s okay, ladies; you’re BOTH coming with us!”

As if it understood, the orange cat cautiously crept forward, and timidly let Hux pet her. But the darker cat lingered. Ben got on his knees and bent his head, crawling a little ways inside the cage. He spoke softly to the shy one, persisting until it came out and rubbed against his hand.

The cats had loved the apartment, scampering around, exploring everything. They seemed especially exuberant upon realizing that they weren’t going to be separated. Hux named the orange one Millicent, and Ben name the black one, Selina.

“Why Selina?”, Hux had asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You know, Selina Kyle? Aka Catwoman?”, he explained, shaking his head. “Geez, and you dare call yourself a nerd? Why _Millicent?_ ”

“It’s pretty!”, Hux exclaimed, setting both of them to laughing.

So living together, having ‘children’; in Ben’s mind, there was only one other possible step, for them to take.

He wasn’t sure how Hux felt, exactly, but Ben was 100% decided that Hux was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. So last week, he had called Phasma while Hux was at work, and had a long, heartfelt talk with her. The conversation had started with “I’m terrified, but—“, and ended with “I want you to come with me, and help me pick out an engagement ring.”

And that’s where they were now, standing outside the doors of the jewelry store.

Ben’s nerves kicked in, and he almost felt like bolting back to the car.

“Maybe this is stupid. What if he says no? What if he starts laughing? What if —“

“Come on, Ben. Have some confidence; he loves you so fucking much, and he’s going to be thrilled, okay?”

Ben nodded, keeping hold on Phasma’s arm as they went inside.

-.-.-

“How’s your soup?”

Leia looked up at him mid-sip, tilting her head. 

“About the same as the last nine times you asked, honey. How’s the sandwich you’ve been sitting there pretending to eat?”

Hux smiled, taking an actual bite to appease her.

He had called Leia up earlier in the day, asking if she wanted to go to lunch with him. He was off of work, and Ben was busy all day with his training sessions. The food in this diner was always delicious, but today, everything tasted like sawdust in his throat.

“So ... Leia?”

“Yes?”

Taking a quick sip of his water, he said, “You know that I love Ben very much.”

Leia smiled. “I gathered that, yes.”

“I love YOU very much, too. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but you remind me a lot of my own mom.”

She reached across he table and took his hand, squeezing it. “Thank you, honey. That’s truly an honor. And I love you very much, as well, in case you didn’t know it. You’re like a son to me.”

Taking a deep breath, Hux said, quietly,

“What if I wasn’t just _like_ your son? What if I WAS your son? Er, son-in-law?”

Leia stared at him, eyes wide, for once speechless.

“I know Ben puts a lot of stock in the things you say, and that he values your approval. I do too. So, Leia, I wanted to formally ask for your approval, to ask your son to marry me.”

A pause; and then Leia was out of her seat, hugging Hux tightly to her.

“Oh my God!”, she exclaimed, nearly crushing Hux in her enthusiasm. “Are you teasing me? Please say you’re not teasing me?”

“I’m not teasing you. In fact, when you’re done with your soup, I wondered if you’d like to take a trip with me to the jewelry store? I’d appreciate help in picking out an engagement ring.”

Leia hugged him, hard, again, before sitting back down and draining the rest of her soup in one go.

“Done. Let’s go!”

-.-.-

Hux sat on the little bench and waited. It was two weeks later, early afternoon, and he had called Ben to tell him that he needed to cut his sessions short at the gym and come home with Hux, because of ‘an emergency’.

It wasn’t long before Ben came barreling out of the double doors, still in his training gear, looking panicked.

“What is it? What’s wrong?!”, he asked, making a beeline to Hux. “Are you hurt? Is it my mom? Did —“

Hux stood up and folded the frantic Ben into a hug, laughing. “No, no, calm yourself. Everything is fine, I promise.”

“Everything is fine? Then what —“

“There IS an emergency, though. I happen to be in severe need of some alone time with you. Like a weekend’s worth. So I thought MAYBE you’d like to go on that three day cruise with me?”

“The — you don’t mean the harbor cruise? The one I keep telling you about?”

“That’s the one,” Hux said, pulling two tickets from his pocket. “The boat leaves in about two hours.”

“Two hours? But it takes like an hour to drive there. Plus we have to pack, we have to get someone to stay with Milly and Sel, we —“

“You underestimate me, dear. I’ve already dropped the cats off with your mom, and I’ve packed my bag, as well as one for you.” He held out a small sack that he had been carrying. “All YOU have to do is go back in there, take a quick shower, change, and we can go.”

Ben took the change of clothes and began to sprint back inside the doors. He stopped halfway there, came back, kissed Hux, then hurried away again.

“You must be Hux,” said the girl at the front desk, who had been quietly watching the entire scene.

“I am.”

The girl extended her hand, which Hux shook. “I’m Lottie. Sorry, it’s just, I feel like I kinda know you already. Ben talks about you all the time.”

“R-really?”

She nodded. “Constantly. It’s nice to be able to put a face to the name, now.”

Hux smiled and nodded. He made polite conversation with the girl while he waited for Ben to come back out, but inside, he felt like he was floating. He had always had doubts about whether Ben spoke of him to other people or not, and now, to hear what this girl was telling him ....

“Okay. Ready.”

Hux turned and smiled. “That was the fastest shower in history.”

“I can move fast when I’m motivated. Now come on,” he said, grabbing Hux’s hand and pulling him to the front doors, “The Love Boat awaits.”

-/-

They just barely made it to the dock in time for final loading, as Ben insisted they stop back home so he could get what he referred to as his ‘lucky’ pants, which he said he knew Hux didn’t pack because they were all the way in the back of the closet.

“If they’re so lucky, why are they hidden?”

“Maybe I plan to get lucky IN them, Hux,” Ben answered, reaching behind the seat and grabbing his bag to stuff the item in them.

Hux took one hand off the wheel and trailed his fingers down Ben’s chest. “You were ALREADY going to get lucky, sweetness. And you won’t be wearing those pants when it happens. Hell, you won’t be wearing ANYTHING.”

Ben shivered and grabbed Hux’s hand, kissing it. 

“I can’t wait.”

And here they were, checking into their cabin. It was lovely, with a big bed, a chair, a window that looked out under the water, and charming nautical-themed decorations.

Ben put there bags on the floor while Hux studied the cruise brochure. “What do you want to do first? They offer fishing, snorkeling lessons, dancing, food, there’s a small casino on —“

Ben grabbed Hux and laid into him with his lips, pushing him down on the bed.

“You. I want to do you first.”

“Really? But there’s so many interesting —“

But Ben’s mouth had captured Hux’s, and the redhead’s argument was stopped in its tracks.

Not that he had planned on protesting much, to begin with.

-/-

True to Hux’s word, there WERE many interesting activities for the two of them to take part of, on their cruise. 

In particular, Ben was enamored with the snorkeling lessons. He spent almost half of their first full day diving into the water, and admiring all of the colorful aquatic life around them. Hux preferred to watch, though, rather than participate himself.

“How come you didn’t go with me?”, Ben asked, as they went back to their cabin to get ready for lunch.

“Truth? And you won’t laugh?”

“Truth. Promise.”

“Um, I never learned how to swim. I’m actually a little afraid of the water.”

“Really? I had no idea.”

“Yeah. See, when I was like, 6 or 7, I went with my dad to visit family in Ireland. Have you ever heard of the Lough Neagh?”

Ben shook his head. “No.”

“It’s a big green lake, up by where my grandmother’s house is. Anyway me and my cousins went swimming there, with my dad and his sisters. I ... I didn’t want to get in the water, and my dad thought I was being a sissy, so he picked me up and threw me in.”

By now they had reached their cabin door, and Ben let them in, looking at Hux in shock.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t that deep, or at least not where he threw me, but you know, not knowing how to swim and being covered in water, I panicked a little. My cousin Cathie pulled me out and got me back to shore, and my dad, he ... he spanked me, for ‘making a big deal out of nothing.’ He made my sit by him in the sun for the rest of the day; he wouldn’t let me play with my cousins in the shallow water or on the beach.”

“Oh, my God,” Ben said in a hushed voice. He pulled Hux into his arms and squeezed him tightly. “My poor baby.”

A sudden thought occurred to him, and Ben held Hux out from him, searching his face.

“Wait — you don’t like water, but you booked us a cruise? Why on earth would you do that?”

Hux smiled at him as if the answer should be obvious. “Because I know that this is something that YOU wanted to do, silly.”

Ben was stunned into silence, and Hux took advantage of his quiet to lean up and kiss him on the cheek. “I’m going to change these clothes, then we can go find lunch.”

He walked away and into the bathroom, leaving Ben looking thoughtfully after him.

 _Hux is willing to do literally anything, to see that I’m happy,_ Ben thought to himself. _You seriously need to step up your game here, Ben, and show him that you’re worthy of him._

Hux came back out, then Ben went to change his clothes, and they walked, hand in hand, to the dining hall.

-/-

“Where are we going?”

“Just be patient; we’ll be there soon.”

“Okay, but is it really necessary for you to carry me?”

“Yes!”

Hux sighed, and tightened his grip on Ben. It was the last night of their cruise; they would be returning to land in the morning. It was nighttime, around dinner time; but Ben was acting strangely. He produced a blindfold and tied it around Hux’s eyes. Then he startled Hux by sweeping his legs out from under him and carrying him out of their cabin.

Eventually, Ben stopped walking, and he set Hux down gently, before untying his blindfold.

Hux looked around himself, in awe. They were in a room that he had seen once during the daytime, on the middle level of the ship. It had an entrance to the deck, and one table was set up, upon which sat multiple candles, a vase of roses, a bottle of wine, and a meal of chicken parmesan and chive-laced mashed potatoes (Hux’s favorite) divided between two plates.

“Ben? What is all this?”

Ben smiled and led him to one of the chairs, pulling it out for him as he said,

“I spoke with the crew and got permission to use this little room, for a private dinner.”

“It’s — this is really, really beautiful.”

“Not half as beautiful as you,” Ben answered, uncorking the wine and pouring them each a glass.

They began to eat, Hux enjoying the exceptionally cooked chicken, but Ben being unusually quiet, almost edgy.

Towards the end, Ben took a deep breath and stood up, and even in the pale candlelight Hux could see that he was sweating and anxious.

And then he abruptly sat back down.  
And stood up.  
And sat back down.

“I don’t think I can do this,” he muttered, mostly to himself.

“Do what?”

“I, um, that is — I wanted to make this moment special for you, but I’m thinking now that it’s not good enough. You deserve better than this.”

“What moment?”

“You deserve better than ME, in fact. You —“

“WHAT moment?!”

“I wanted to ask you, um, Hux, I wanted to ask you, if —“

A loud burst of sound interrupted him, and made Ben jump. He turned, and was surprised to see fireworks emanating from the distance. Beautiful sparkling streamers of gold, silver and blue (Ben’s favorite colors) lit up the dark sky, drawing other passengers from their cabins onto the decks, to watch.

“Er, surprise?”, Hux said sheepishly. “I, uh, arranged those for you. Although NOW it seems like a poor comparison to what you’ve done for me.”

Ben stared in awe at the sky, his eyes eating up his face. “You did that — for me?”

Before Hux could answer, Ben sank to his knees and burst into loud tears, scaring Hux.

“What’s wrong? Ben, what —“

“I can’t believe you DID that, for ME!”, he exclaimed, rubbing his sleeve across his streaming eyes. “I don’t fucking deserve you!”

“Are you joking? **I** don’t deserve **you!** ”

They both stayed on their knees, facing each other. Ben took the box from his pocket with one hand, and gently grabbed Hux’s left hand with the other. 

“Armitage Hux; I promise to love you, to take care of you, to build my life with you, always. Will you marry me?”

Hux nodded, wiping tears from his eyes with his free hand as Ben slid the ring into his other hand’s finger. It was a perfect fit, and Hux held his hand close, admiring it. A thick gold band, with a shining, square diamond set in the center. Simple, yet elegant: exactly Hux’s style.

Now it was Hux’s turn. He pulled the box from his own pocket and took hold of Ben’s ring hand. 

“Ben Solo, I promise to always be there for you, to protect you, to support you, and to love you until the day I die. Will you marry me?”

Ben nodded; producing even more tears. Hux slid the ring over his long finger, breathing a small sigh of relief that it fit.

Ben smiled as he held his ring up to his face. It was a pure silver band, with one small sapphire on either side of a larger, clear white diamond in the center. Pretty, with a splash of vibrant color; exactly Ben’s style.

“Oh my God, oh my god, we’re engaged!”

He stood up and began pacing around excitedly. “I’ve got to call my mom, and have her put the girls on so we can tell them. And Phasma! And —“

Hux took hold of his face and kissed him, stopping his words in their tracks. 

“That can wait until we go home tomorrow, sweetheart. Right now, though, this night, this moment, belongs to just me, and you.”

Ben hugged him tightly, kissing the top of his head. “I couldn’t agree more, Red.”

“That’s Mr. Solo to you.”

Ben smiled. “You really want me to give you my last name?”

Leaning close, Hux whispered, “I want you to give me more than THAT, once we get back to our room.”

He kissed Ben’s neck, lightly, to emphasize his point.

So Ben picked him up once more and carried him down the halls.


	6. Chapter 6

_miss you. send me a pic?_   
**k hold on**   
**sent**   
**you got it?**   
_omg what the actual fuck Ben?!_   
**what? you said send a pic**   
_of your FACE you fucking pervert!_   
**well you didn’t specify so**   
**hold on**   
**there. better?**   
_wth happened to your skin? did the sun teabag you?_   
**jesus fuck you’re annoying. is there any possible thing I can send you that you won’t bitch about?**   
_careful, Ben. keep talking like that and I’ll have a NEW fiancé by the time I come home._   
**lmao ok**   
**like who?**   
_why do u wanna know? getting nervous?_   
**no, just save me time if I know who I’m killing**   
_awwwww_   
_you love me enough to murder for me?_   
_soooo sweet_   
_kisses x 1000_   
**kisses. hey speaking of sending you things check your mail either today or tomorrow**   
_oooh! what is it?!_   
**nope can’t tell you, it’s a surprise.**   
_not fair. your a tease._   
**you’re**.**   
**christ, aren’t you supposed to be studying to be a TEACHER?**   
**remember, proper grammar is sexy.**   
_meh, fuck off_   
**so is proper spelling. you misspelled ‘me’ as ‘off’. just FYI.**   
_god you really ARE a tease. u know what happens to teases, Ben? how they get punished?_   
**no. tell me. in graphic detail.**   
_see I WOULD ..._   
_but, look at that, my break is over._   
**ugh you’re a dick. you’re just gonna leave me like this? YOUR the tease!**   
_you’re***_   
_and maybe I am_   
_speaking of dick, tho_   
_*sends you something*_   
**nnngh seriously? that’s hot as fuck!! more? please?**   
_maybe after work, sweetie. don’t worry, you only have to wait 5 more hours :-)_   
**I hate you. so much.**   
_I know._   
_but ok I really gotta go now_   
_ttyl_   
_loves you!_   
**k, I’ll call you tonight**   
**loves you too**

 

Ben sighed as he backed out of the text, resting his chin on his fist.

This was much harder than he thought it would be.

Several weeks ago, shortly after their engagement, Hux had received an intriguing offer. He had been selected, among 9 other lucky individuals, to embark on a student-teaching study program two states over. The program lasted 8 weeks, room and board taken care of. The participants would be studying under experienced teachers, as well as having the chance to teach themselves, under the guidance of said teacher.

“It’s a great opportunity, but I’m not sure if I should go,” Hux told Ben, as they were getting ready for bed one night.

Ben gently plucked Selina, who was asleep, from his pillow and laid her in her little bed on the floor next to her sister.

“What? Why in the world wouldn’t you do this?!”

“Well, I mean, we just got engaged, we have a wedding to plan, we’re supposed to be house-hunting ...”

Ben took Hux’s hand, forcing him to look at him.

“All of that can be put on hold, Armitage. This is an excellent chance for you to get some in-field experience teaching, and in a new place, to boot.”

“How am I supposed to just leave you for 8 whole weeks?”

Ben sighed. “It won’t be easy, and I’ll miss you a LOT, but we’ll manage. And we’d still be in the same time zone, so I’ll call you every night, I’ll blow up your phone sending you texts all day ... maybe we can even go old-school and write each other love letters by snail-mail.”

Hux smiled a bit, at that.

“You’re going to write me a love letter? What will it say?”

“Honestly, probably some really awful poetry, followed by dick jokes and innuendos. But they’ll be dick jokes from the _heart_.”

They both laughed, then settled in to talking again. They talked far into the night, but before they finally fell asleep, Ben had managed to convince Hux to go.

It was the middle of the third week of Hux being gone, and, despite how cheerful he tried to be, Ben was really starting to feel the hurt of missing him. He hadn’t realized before just how big a part Hux played in his everyday routines. Eating, watching movies, going for drives — nothing felt quite ‘right’, without him.

But at the same time, Ben was glad. Hux had always been very shy and introverted, having difficulty speaking to those that he didn’t know very well. Going into the teaching field was helping him to come out of his shell, and he was making some good friends on this trip, which helped to boost his confidence and self-esteem.

So Ben worked to fill the void as best he could. Work kept him mercifully occupied during the day, and at night, he’d sometimes go out with colleagues from the office or from the gym. He spent more time with his mother, and a good deal of time with Phasma.

Today was a Phasma day. Being off from work, he asked her if she wanted to go with him to the local aquarium, something that always soothes him when he felt out of sorts.

The two walked around slowly, looking at each exhibit and taking countless pictures.

“It’s misleading, being in here.”

Phasma looked away from one of the tanks and over to him. “Misleading? How?”

“Because when you think of water, the mind automatically thinks of the word ‘cool’. Or, at least mine does. Cool as in, cool temperatures. But it’s hot as fuck in here.”

Phasma smiled and nodded. “You’re right, it is. Very humid. Very ... _moist_.”

Ben scrunched up his face. “Ew. I despise that word.”

Phasma laughed, taking his arm and pulling him to the next exhibit. Thousand of tiny, glowing blue fish flitted back and forth through the water. “You’re just like Hux. Back when me and him first moved in with each other, I said a word once, and I swear I thought he was gonna faint.”

“What word?”

“Cluster.”

“Cluster?”, Ben repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Really.”

Ben pretended to pull out a notepad, and mimicked writing, saying out-loud “Note to self; find some way to incorporate ‘cluster’ into my vows.”

Phasma laughed. “Well, fair warning then, I’ll tell him to put the word ‘moist’ into his.”

Ben pretended to crumple up the invisible paper and toss it over his shoulder. “Back to the drawing board, I guess.”

They moved to the tank of sharks, watching as they swam majestically through the water.

“In all seriousness, though; do you have any ideas yet, about your wedding?”

Ben shook his head. “Not really. I mean we’ve both thrown some ideas out there, but nothing solid yet. The guest list is going to be a bit overwhelming. It’s like suddenly everyone wants an invite; people from the office, people from the gym, some of Mom’s friends, the cats, Hux’s family —“

“Hux’s family? They’re coming?”

About two months back, Hux had set up a Skype call with one of his cousins in Belfast. She had put her laptop on the table, surrounded by Hux’s other cousins, his aunt, and his grandma (who was adorably fascinated with the technology and the ability to see her grandson in such a way). Hux had had a long talk with his family, in which he essentially ‘came out’, then introduced them all to Ben, who had been waiting nervously nearby.

The reception that they received was warmer than anything that Hux had expected. His cousins were thrilled, and his grandmother said that she had always known, and was happy that Hux was finally comfortable in his own skin. She also told them both that while she didn’t know if she’d be fit to travel such a long way for a wedding, they both had her blessing, and her love. Hux had cried for a long time after that call, so relieved and happy. And two weeks later, they received a package in the mail containing the best fudge Ben had ever eaten in his life, a letter, and two horrifyingly cute, matching knit caps for their cats.

“Oh, that’s fantastic!”, Phasma said, hugging Ben. “But what about Brendol?”

“I don’t know, Phas. He and Hux haven’t spoken since that time he came to visit. I know that Hux would want him to come to our wedding, but really, unless he made a complete 360 turn, I don’t want him anywhere near us. That’s going to be such a happy day, and I don’t need his toxic negativity clouding it, you know?”

“Well, don’t worry about that now. Think of the good things, and deal with that issue when it comes up.”

Ben nodded. “I know. Sage advice my dear. Now come on, let’s go hit up the food court; I have a craving for sushi.”

— -

“You did very well today, Mr. Hux.”

Today had been a fun day. The teacher that he usually studied under had had a family emergency, and the school had been unable to find a substitute in time.

“I can do it,” Hux had said, eagerly. “Mr. Kolten always has a detailed lesson plan for the day, any idiot could follow it.”

“That may be true; but, technically, you’re not a teacher yet. The law requires that only those with a teaching degree be allowed to guide a class for any length of time, unless supervised by such a person.”

“I can do it!”

Hux had turned around, looking into the smiling face of a young man standing by the door. The man extended his hand to Hux. “Hi. I don’t think we’ve met yet; I’m Mr. Fashner, but you can call me Mike.”

To the supervisor, he said, “I’m supervising one of his colleagues in my class, just next door. It’d be no problem for me to look in on him, as well.”

“Very well, I’ll allow it, but only for one day.”

It was the end of that day now, and Hux was sitting at the desk, straightening up. He felt he had done well, although he made mental notes for improvement. The class had been diligent and respectful, and the lesson plan that Hux had followed went quite smoothly. There was something about standing in front of the students, writing things on the board, speaking, moderating discussions, that Hux found incredibly satisfying.

“Thanks, Mike. You don’t have to call me ‘mister’, by the way. Most people just call me Hux.”

“Okay, Hux. Is that your first name, or last?”

“Last.”

“What’s your first?”

“Armitage,” Hux answered, with a grimace. 

“Oh, I like that. Sounds very regal.”

Hux finished at the desk, and was about to make his goodbyes and go back to his hotel, when Mike cleared his throat and said,

“So, first day doing it on your own. I know how stressful that can be. I, er, I was thinking of heading out to the bar. Would you be interested in joining me, for a drink or two? I’m buying.”

Hux smiled, but shook his head. “Thanks, but no. I’m not really a bar person.”

“Well, how about, out to eat? You look like a seafood person to me; there’s this great little —“

“Um, Mike, I appreciate the offer. But, and if I’m reading you wrong I’m sorry, but ... are you asking me out?”

Mike smiled nervously and stepped forward. “Trying to, yes.”

“Ah. Well, then, I think it only fair to tell you that I’m in a relationship. Engaged, in fact,” Hux told him, holding up his ring finger.

“Oh!”, Mike exclaimed, embarrassed. “I didn’t even see that! I’m sorry.”

Hux laughed. “It’s okay. I mean I’m flattered but —“

“Yeah, no, I get it. Well — well maybe sometime before you go back home, we can go do something as friends?”

“I’d like that.”

“Me too. Goodnight,” he said, before quickly leaving.

“Goodnight,” Hux called after him.

He felt melancholy, on the cab ride back to the hotel. This city boasted so much to do, with such a vibrant nightlife, but Hux couldn’t really enthuse himself to partake in any of it. He had made friends among the other student teachers, and several nights a week he’d go out in a group, sometimes out to eat, sometimes the bar, or the movies, or the museum, etc. 

But.  
He missed Ben.

It was approaching the 5th week now, and that meant his stay was more than halfway over, but still; a couple of weeks can sometimes seem like an eternity. He enjoyed the Skype sessions or phone callsthey had each night, and looked forward to when Ben would text him throughout the day. He especially liked the not-quite-appropriate pictures Ben would randomly send, while at the same time lamenting how long it had been since the two enjoyed any physical time with one another.

When he got back to his hotel room, the first thing he did was go to the little calendar hanging up by his desk. Ben had sent it to him a few weeks ago; a custom calendar of the two months Hux was gone, and each square was a different picture of the two of them. He had also sent a thing of heart stickers, to put over each passed day, rather than crossing them out with a marker.

After he carefully affixed a heart over the day, he took a quick shower, and sat down at the desk, staring at the browser on his laptop. Every night, he would try and get a little work done, researching possible places for them to go on a honeymoon to. The place that stood out most frequently in his mind was Ireland. Aside from his family being there, the isle was absolutely beautiful. He had a feeling Ben would really enjoy it there.

Eventually he started to doze off, putting his head down on the desk. The next thing he was aware of was the familiar ring-buzz of his phone.

Without opening his eyes, he put his phone to his mouth, and said,

“Hi, babe.”

— -

“Fuck!”

Ben sat himself down on the couch, frustrated.

One of his friends from the gym had given Ben his exercise bike, as he had gotten a new one for his birthday. But the one he gave Ben was almost brand-new, and a really attractive red-gray color. 

The friend had helped him haul it up the stairs to Ben’s apartment, had stayed to drink the beer Ben offered him, then left. Ben was a bit peeved at himself, because he couldn’t make up his mind where he wanted the thing to go. First it looked good by the kitchen door, then it looked good in the corner of the bedroom, and now it looked good in the dining room. But as Ben moved it into place, he shoved just a little too hard, and one of the handlebars went right through the plaster of the wall, creating a noticeable hole.

“Well, there goes our security deposit once we move,” Ben said to himself, adjusting the bike, carefully this time. He had been going to hop on it for an hour, but in the end decided to just go to bed early, instead.

-

Was he dreaming?

It certainly seemed like it. In his dream, there was a body on top of his, holding him down. Soft, sweet lips were brushing along the corners of his own, and teasing lightly down his neck.

Ben risked opening his eyes, and was so startled by what he saw that he nearly fell out of bed.

“Oh my god ... Hux? Is it really you?”

“I should hope that you wouldn’t let anyone else crawl into our bed and kiss you like this.”

Ben sat up, rubbing his eyes. He still wasn’t convinced that this wasn’t a dream. “But ... but ... you’re not supposed to be here until NEXT Friday!”

Hux shrugged his shoulders playfully. “I told everyone that I had an emergency back home. They were very understanding, and, since I’d already taken all of the necessary tests and did my performance review, they let me leave.”

“Emergency?”

“Yes. A huge one. Dammit, Ben, I fucking _missed_ you!”

Ben embraced him fiercely, kissing his cheek. “I fucking missed you, too.”

When he let him go, Hux looked around and said, “Where are our girls?”

“Oh; my mom thought she saw a mouse in her kitchen last night. So I told her I’d “rent” her Sel and Milly, to take care of it.”

“Rent? You’re charging your own mother to see her ‘granddaughters’?”

“Well, the charge was a batch of peanut butter m&m cookies, so ...”

“Ah. Acceptable, then.”

Hux stood up and stretched. “I should probably take a shower,” he said, making a face as he sniffed his shirt. “I’ve been traveling for over 12 hours, and ...”

Ben interrupted him by grabbing his sleeve and yanking him back into the bed. “Nope. I don’t care if you stink; you’re finally home and I want my cuddle-time.”

Hux grinned. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. In fact —“, Ben began, then breathed directly in Hux’s face. “I had a sandwich earlier with onions and liverwurst, so we’ll match.”

Hux made a face and fanned the air around him. “Jesus, Ben! Is this what happens when I leave you alone? You let your hygiene fall apart?”

Ben nodded, putting both arms around Hux and snuggling into him. “It’s not just the hygiene. Everything falls apart when you’re not with me.”

Hux gently wound his fingers through Ben’s silky hair. “Then I guess the solution would be to never leave you again.”

“Sounds good to me.”

As he drifted off to sleep in Hux’s arms, he thought about the hole in the dining room wall, which Hux had probably not noticed yet.

But no matter. There’d be plenty of time to talk about it in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

“Seriously, though, I’ve thought about it. I think, if we were diligent about it, each of us could put $100 aside from each pay check. And that’s an extremely low estimate. We get paid twice a month, so, that’s $400 a month, for twelve months is $4,800. That times 5 years, is $24,000. And once again, the numbers are very low-estimate. So I think, realistically, we could have anywhere from $24,000 up to $30,000, which makes for a pretty decent down payment.”

Ben made a face. “All this math is making my head hurt, but I’ll take your word for it.”

“Okay, but is this something you _want_ to do? We’re going to be partners, in everything. So I can’t call any shots without getting the go-ahead from you, babe.”

“Thank you. And yes, I think this is a very good decision. Very mature. Almost makes me feel like a grown-up.”

Ben and Hux were talking about their timeline for moving from the apartment into an actual house, once they got married. They had done some preliminary scouting, and had gone to a couple of open-houses, but nothing had panned out. It was then that Hux brought up the concept of waiting, and saving money, rather than rushing into such a big expense.

In truth, both were a little daunted, at how quickly everything was moving. After weeks of agonizing, they had finally picked a date for their wedding: October 12. The date was significant to them for several reasons. One, Hux’s favorite number was 12. Two, October was Ben’s favorite month, and Hux’s second-favorite after December. They both enjoyed fall more than any other season, and by the time October rolled around all of the leaves would have turned their gorgeous red-orange colors, which they really wanted in the backdrop of their pictures. And finally, although certainly not least important: October 12 was their anniversary, sort of: the anniversary of the day that Ben had driven an intoxicated Hux back to his apartment, what seemed like so long ago.

Having a set date was important, because several members of Hux’s family from Ireland wanted to attend the wedding, and would need to know in advance when to book their flights.

The guest list for this event had, admittedly, gotten somewhat out of control. Nearly everybody in their lives wanted to be a part of this event, and both of them were too nice to say ‘No’ to extending an invitation. As of right now, the total stood at an impressive 100 people, with more being slowly added over time.

Finding a church for the occasion wasn’t very hard; there were several in the area that would accommodate a large number of people. They had it narrowed down to three possible venues, and they were in luck that not many people opted for October weddings, so they could be a bit lax in their scheduling.

Everything else, however, was a pain.

Were they supposed to assign seats, or just let everyone sit where they wanted?

“I think the church itself is a sit wherever kind of deal, but the reception has tables with name cards at them.”

And what about the reception? They had to make a decision on that fairly soon, because the only places around them large enough to host their group would need a deposit at least several weeks in advance. 

And what kind of food should they serve?  
And drinks?

Should they have a professional DJ, or just an MP3 player hooked up to a loudspeaker? What _kind_ of music should they play?

“I don’t know about you, but, I think our first dance should to be to ‘Like A Virgin’ by Madonna.”, Ben said, smirking.

“If you pulled that, it would be the shortest marriage in history, babe,” Hux had said, teasing him back.

But all of this was going to cost them money, something that they didn’t really have an abundance of. Their plan to spend five years saving for a house might have to be extended to six years, just to recover from this debt.

“This is stressful,” Ben said, massaging his forehead. “Let’s take a break for tonight, okay?”

Hux nodded in agreement, closing his notebook. “Okay. What do you want to do?”

“Let’s go to the movies. No, better yet, let’s go to that new retro drive-in they just opened.”

“Really? I don’t think I’ve ever been to a proper drive-in.”

“Oh, you’ll love it! We’ll stop and get a bunch of junk food, bring some blankets, make out a little —“

“What?”

“That’s kinda the point of drive-in’s, Hux. Everyone gets all hot and heavy in their cars, with a movie playing in the background.”

“HOW hot, and HOW heavy?”

“There’s only one way to find out,” Ben told him, standing and extending his hand. “You coming or what?”

“Not yet,” Hux replied, taking Ben’s hand with a smirk. “But I guess I will be soon, if this is as good as you say it’ll be.”

“Wow ... that’s like, the hottest thing you’ve ever said. Well, just to make sure it’s good, do you want to have a practice run here?”

“You read my mind, baby,” Hux whispered, before tackling him with kisses.

-/-

“What do you think of this?”

Ben nodded, trying to keep up his enthusiastic facade as he said, “That’s perfect, mom! So pretty!”

Leia rolled her eyes. “That’s what you said to the last three dresses, Ben.”

Ben and Leia were in a small boutique close to where Leia lived, and Leia was trying on dresses for the wedding. After this, she was going to go with him to pick out a suit to wear, for the occasion. Both he and Hux had agreed not to let each other see what they were wearing until the day of, to keep it a surprise.

But Ben wasn’t really feeling it today. He felt tired, and anxious, and watching his mother try on dresses was not exactly an antidote to his feelings.

“You know, I’d like to look nice for my only son’s wedding. An honest opinion would be helpful in making that happen.”

“The blue dress, then,” Ben said, pointing. “That, with the light blue shoes.”

“Really?”, Leia said, with a frown. “I thought that one made me look like that little blueberry girl from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.”

Ben sighed. “Fine, then, wear whatever you want.”

Leia sat down beside him on the bench.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“There is, too. I know you, Ben. You’ve been acting so tense lately that it’s worrying me.”

When Ben didn’t reply, she reached up and gently stroked his hair.

“You might feel better if you got whatever it is off your chest, baby. So tell me. Is it work? Are you having problems with Hux?”

Ben shook his head. “No, it’s not that. It’s this wedding.”

“You know, there’s no shame in being scared, or having second thoughts. Marriage is a huge step in any relationship, and you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t at least a little nervous.”

“I’m not worried about Hux. He’s the one, mom; I’m one thousand percent sure of that. It’s just, these plans that we’ve been making .... I don’t know, everything feels wrong.”

“What do you mean, wrong?”

“I feel like I’m planning somebody else’s wedding, not my own.”

Leia was quiet for a bit, thinking of what he’d said. 

“Have you told any of this to Hux?”

Ben shook his head. “I can’t do that, mom. Hux is already so stressed out. He’s got exams coming up soon, and we’ve both picked up as much overtime at work as we possibly can, in order to pay for this ... how am I gonna tell him I’m having second thoughts?”

“You say he’s stressed out? Well, it sounds like you are too, baby. That’s what being married is all about, you know; sharing each other’s stress, and bad times, along with the good.”

Ben nodded. “I know. We need to talk, I guess. I ... I’ll handle it later.”

He stood up and changed the subject, saying, with a smile, 

“You really SHOULD get that blue dress, though. The color makes your skin pop; and didn’t dad always say that blue was your best color?”

Leia rolled her eyes. “He only said that because the color of the cans of beer I always used to bring him were blue,” she said, and they both cracked up.

-/-

“I’m not gonna lie, Hux; that looks AMAZING on you. And your arms! Have you been working out?”

Hux blushed and nodded. “A little. I’ve been spending an hour a day lifting the weights Ben keeps in the bedroom, before he gets home. Wanted to surprise him with some muscle for the big day.”

“Well, it’s noticeable.”

Hux and Phasma has spent almost the whole day together, shopping for clothes for the wedding. Surprisingly, Phasma picked out her dress much quicker than Hux did his suit. But he was insistent that whatever he wore had to be perfect.

Eventually, after trying on what felt like countless outfits, he found one that he liked. Charcoal-gray and Black, it was exactly what he could picture himself saying his vows in.

He and Phasma sat on the bench now, watching as a seamstress did a few minor alterations for him.

“So, it’s getting closer to the day,” Phasma said, taking a sip of her water. “You excited?”

Hux nodded. “I am. I’m also terrified. There’s going to be so many people watching us. What if I trip or something? Or mess up my vows?”

“Highly doubt you’d mess up your vows, Hux. You guys are writing your own, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, there you go. Hard to mess up something that comes from your heart.”

Hux sighed, and began fiddling with his shoelaces.

“It’s just ... I don’t know. I almost wish we weren’t having this wedding at all.”

Phasma stared at him, shocked. Seeing her face, Hux hurried and explained,

“No, no! I DO want to marry Ben. I literally can’t wait to be able to say that he’s my husband; just thinking about it makes me feel like a kid waiting for Christmas. But this wedding ... it feels, very NOT us, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, when I was in high school, I was in drama club for two years. I used to work backstage with scenery and lighting and props. The feeling that I have now is like how I used to feel a week before a show: terrified. But making sure everything I did was perfect, so that the actors and the audience would love it. I feel like that now, like — like I’m backstage, planning something for someone else. Like trying to make sure everything is perfect for our families, our friends ...”

He stopped, shrugging. He felt he was doing a poor job articulating what he meant; although, Phasma seemed to understand him entirely. Putting her hand on his arm, she said,

“Have you said any of this to Ben?”

Hux shook his head. “No. He’s been working so hard, and I know he’s stressed out. And you know what? All of what we’re planning, isn’t even half of what this man deserves, you know? You’ve known me for so many years now, Phasma. You’ve been with me through boyfriend after boyfriend, and you’ve seen first hand how some of them just completely wrecked me. Ben has been so supportive, and loving, and — he deserves everything. Because he IS everything.”

“Wow,” said Phasma, quietly. “Is THAT gonna be in your vows? Because that was beautiful.”

Hux smiled and shook his head. “If it were a private ceremony, maybe. But with so many people —“

He trailed off, sighing. 

“I think you should talk to Ben, tell him how you feel. Maybe you can come up with something better, you know?”

Hux nodded.

The seamstress was finished, and Hux’s suit was put into a protective black bag, which he carried carefully out to the car.

“I don’t know about you,” he said, as they got in, “But I’m hungry. Let’s go get something to eat.”

-/-

“I need to talk to you.”

Hux sat down beside him, his heart thudding. Ben’s face was so serious, he wondered what was wrong.

“Okay. I’m listening.”

“Okay, Hux, the thing is, er, about this wedding —“

Hux’s heart dropped down to his feet, and he felt like all the air had been knocked from his lungs.

“Are you ... do you not want to marry me, anymore?”

“What? No! I mean, yes, yes I want to marry you! I’m talking about the actual wedding.”

Hux breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank god. Actually, I’m glad you brought this up, because I want to talk to you about it, too.”

“Really?”

“Yes. But you go first.”

Taking a deep breath, Ben said, slowly, “Hux, you deserve everything in the world, on our wedding day. And I’m willing to do anything to give you perfection. But, I don’t feel like this wedding, is US.”

He looked down at the floor, afraid to meet Hux’s eyes, afraid of what he might think.

So he was amazed when Hux said, “I feel the same way.”

“Y-you do?”

Hux nodded. “I do. But we’ve put so much work into planning this, and I didn’t want to disappoint you, if all of this was what you REALLY wanted. But —“

“ — But a lot of this feels like it’s not even for us, right? Like, it’s for the benefit of everyone else?”

Hux leaned over and hugged him tightly. “Yes! Oh, I’m so glad we’re both feeling the same way!”

Ben hugged him back, a wide smile on his face. “Looks like, we need to work a little on communicating with each other. Even if we think we might hurt the others’ feelings. Agreed?”

“Agreed.”

They separated, and then Ben said, with a sigh, “But at the same time, so many people are coming, and your family from halfway around the world — I’d feel bad disappointing anyone.”

“I agree; BUT, also at the same time, it’s OUR wedding day. It should be happy, and it should be something we always remember, for the right reasons.”

Ben leaned against him, burying his face in Hux’s shoulder.

“So what do we DO?”

Hux smiled and put his arm around Ben. “I have a few ideas, actually. First thing —“

-/-

Hux woke up with his heart already hammering, and he quickly checked his alarm. 7:50 am. More than an entire hour before he needed to get up.

But this was good; he needed the time to sit quietly, have a cup of tea, and calm his nerves. 

He got up and began neatly folding the blanket he had been covered with, laying it over the back of the couch.

He was in Phasma’s apartment, having spent the night. He and Ben decided that on this day, they wanted to wait to see each other, until they arrived at the Minister’s office.

Together, they had implemented many changes to their wedding, the biggest being that there now wasn’t a wedding at all. They called, texted, and sent heartfelt emails to everyone that was going to attend, explaining how they wanted the moment of their vows to be between just them (and Leia and Phasma, although they didn’t mention that to anyone else). Afterwards, they had rented out their favorite park (at nearly 80% less of the cost it would have taken for the reception hall), where everyone was going to gather for a party/reception. 

To their surprise, everybody was more than understanding about this change of events. Many people volunteered to cook dishes for the event (which saved on the food budget), there would be drinks, and music, and Leia (along with several of her friends from the retirement community she lived in) had made them a beautiful tiered wedding cake. This new arrangement was exciting and relieving to both of them; it finally felt like a real celebration, a fun, low-pressure outing rather than a stiff, formal event.

Even Hux’s family was okay with the changes. Hux’s aunt, uncle, and four cousins and 2 of their older children had flown in several days ago. Ben and Hux had invited them, along with Leia, over for a home cooked meal, and it was a wonderful evening for all parties involved. Hux’s family really took to Ben, and the group stayed up eating, laughing, and exchanging stories far into the night.

Just as Hux turned around to make his way to the kitchen, Phasma was suddenly behind him. She threw both arms around him and tackled him back on the couch.

“It’s today, it’s today, hooray!”, she sang out, squeezing him. “God, why am **I** feeling nervous?!”

“ _You’re_ nervous? Look at this!”, he exclaimed, showing her the shaking in his hands. “You might have to dress me and carry me out the door.”

She sat up. “If that’s what it takes, I’m all for it. Seriously, though, this is unbelievable. To think this all started because you couldn’t hold your liquor and Ben had to drive you home.”

Hux blushed and smiled. “There’s a story for our kids some day, huh?”

“I imagine you’ll have a lot of good stories for your kids. Now come on; let me make you some breakfast.”

She stood and went into the kitchen, and he called after her,

“I’m not sure if I can eat.”

“You can, and you will. Think of this as your last meal; the last meal of your bachelor life.”

So Hux got up and followed her.

-/-

“Mom! I need you to tie my tie!”

Leia opened the bathroom door a crack. “Just a second, honey. I’m almost done.”

Ben sighed and plopped himself back on the couch. He reflexively put out his hand for Selina and Millicent, then remembered that they were currently at his mothers neighbors home, to be watched until Leia came home and picked them up to watch for the duration of their honeymoon.

Which was too bad; Ben really could have used their calming presence right then.

Finally, Leia emerged from the bathroom, and Ben had to smile. In his entire life, he didn’t think she had ever looked as gorgeous as she did right then.

“Geez, mom; way to upstage me on my wedding day!”

Leia gasped; this was the first time she had gotten a look at Ben in his suit. Black, with blue trim, and he had pulled his long hair back in a ponytail, exposing his scrubbed, freshly shaven face.

She used both hands to fan her face, telling herself that if she cried, she’d ruin the mascara she spent so long applying.

“You look so handsome, baby,” she said, softly. “You look so much like ... like ....”

“Like dad?”

She nodded, sniffing hard to prevent another wave of tears.

“Han would be so proud of you, Ben. You’ve become an amazing man, and I couldn’t ask for a better child.”

Ben hugged her, feeling dangerously close to tears himself. Eventually he pulled away and said, gruffly,

“Well, all of this love isn’t tying my tie for me, mom.”

She laughed, and moved to do as he asked. 

“We’d better get a move on; it’s almost time to leave.”

-/-

While Phasma was parking the car, Hux walked in ahead of her, saying that he needed to keep moving to keep his nerves at bay.

The little room where the ministers office was, was beautiful. The stained glass windows were particularly lovely, and Hux could have spent all day looking at them; IF it weren’t for the other thing in the room.

He had been standing and talking to himself, when Hux came in. His mother was still outside the building, talking with the minister. He turned around slowly to face the person behind him, his eyes going wide.

Neither could speak for quite a few moments, and then:

“Oh, my God,” Hux said, softly. “You look so — you look so _beautiful_ , Ben.”

“ **I** look beautiful? You — you look like a dream. Are you real? Can I touch you?”

Smiling, Hux walked closer and put his hand on Ben’s cheek. “I can’t believe this is happening. We’re finally here; we’re going to walk out of here and you’re going to be my husband. My _husband_.”

The emotion in Hux’s voice was so strong, so palpable, that Ben very nearly broke tradition and kissed him. Fortunately for him, the minister walked in at that moment, along with Phasma and Leia. 

Phasma was already crying, and Leia took one look at the two of them standing there and unexpectedly burst into tears.

“Shit!”, she exclaimed, fumbling a handkerchief from her purse. She hastily wiped her eyes, explaining: “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry until after.”

Ben smiled and patted his mothers back. “It’s okay, mom; this won’t take long.”

Ben took Hux’s hands and stood them both in front of the minister, each of them taking deep breaths as he began the simple ceremony.

When it came time for the vows, they let go of each other’s hands, and each pulled a small piece of paper from their pocket.

“My entire life, I was never one to believe in concepts like fate, or destiny. I’ve always been a believer that things just happened, simply for the sake of happening. But that was before you, Hux. I don’t know what I did, either in this life or a past one, to deserve a reward like this, but I’m thankful to be receiving it. You, are my soul. I can’t wait to spend this lifetime with you; working, fighting, kissing, laughing, singing; you tripping over my barbells, me stepping on pieces of your LEGO sets. In time, I can’t wait to have children with you. Love seems so paltry a word, for what I feel for you, but Armitage Hux, I love you. Please accept this ring as a symbol of my undying commitment, my pledge to be yours and yours alone, forever.”

He slid the plain gold band over Hux’s finger; it took several tries, because his eyes were so blurred with tears that he could barely see.

“Ben, words can’t begin to describe, what you mean to me. Without knowing it, and without doing anything other than being yourself, you saved me. You gave my life purpose, and meaning, and joy. You’ve taught me to embrace aspects of myself that I couldn’t even face before, and I’m confident that, so long as you’re by my side, there is nothing that this life can throw at me that I can’t handle. Every day with you feels brand new, every kiss feels like our first kiss. I’m beyond honored that of all the people on God’s green earth, you’ve chosen ME to be the one who walks beside you, on this fantastic journey. You are the Happily Ever After, you are the Always, you are the Forever. I can’t wait to discover all of the things life holds for us. Benjamin Solo, please accept this ring as a symbol of myself, my love and my soul, which is yours, and only yours, eternally.”

He slid the ring over Ben’s finger, using his other hand to brush the tears from his face.

The moment when the minister declared them married, was surreal. Everything seemed to disappear; the minister, Phasma and Leia, the building, the entire world. There was only each other; Ben, and Hux.

Leia’s loud sobbing and the flash of Phasma’s camera bulb were the only things that broke through the shield of their kissing, which, Phasma would inform them later, went on long enough to be classified as a world record. And then they were both hugged and kissed repeatedly by the two women, and congratulated by the minister, until Hux, still wiping away tears, said,

“We should be getting on to the reception; right, _husband?_ ”

Ben smiled and took his hand. Leia and Phasma walked out ahead of them, talking about all the food that was awaiting them; but Ben and Hux hardly heard a word they said.

There would be magnificent moments at their reception. They would be hugged and/or kissed so many times their faces would become numb. They would take countless pictures in front of the vibrant red-orange trees. They would share a beautiful dance together, and then several more as others joined in. There would be an amusing moment where they shoved cake in each other’s mouths, then kissed so intensely that they very nearly knocked the over the table with all the food on it. Ben would sit down on top of one of the picnic tables, and Hux would lay back in his arms, the first traces of starlight making itself known in the darkening sky, and they would watch everybody celebrating the day with them.

But none of that mattered at the moment.

What DID matter was that they were walking out of the minister’s office hand in hand, so happy that they couldn’t even speak.

But then again, for some things, no words are necessary.


End file.
